To Be Normal
by Skyler VonDetton
Summary: “James where’d she go?” Sirius asked.“Oh I suspect she’s about the size of an acorn right now,” He said smugly. “I’ll kill you!”Kassidy screamed up at him.All she wants is to be normal, but as Hogwarts is proving, nothing about her life is ordinary.
1. Remus Lupin

Kassidy sighed as she made her way through the crowd of students, she was looking for a face and she didn't know exactly where to find him. 'This is ludicrous,' she thought maneuvering so not to run into people. 'how did I get here?'

As Kassidy squeezed through the crowded halls she reminisced…

_Kassidy sat nervously at the old man, who was sitting across from her peering out from under his half moon spectacles. His silver hair was a sriking contrast with his vibrant purple and red robes. She knew he would ask about how she managed to get here, wherever that was._

'_Fuck if I know.' She said beginning to shift under his gaze._

_Kassidy had known it would be a crappy day, just how much of a bad day was beyond her, and it wasn't even over yet._ She_ had woken up late that day due to the fact that she had set her alarm to 8 pm instead of 8 am, and consequently woke up at 9 o'clock._

_Kassidy distincly remembered running around in her room throwing on clothes and shoving stuff into her book bag like mad. She had been halfway out the door when she remembered her English paper. It was in her English book that was under her bed. Why was it there? She had no idea._

_But Kassidy hadnt just find her book. Oh no, she had found herself in a woods then had gotten chased by giant spiders until she had come into clearing where she passed out._

_Kassidy had woken up in a hospital looking room in a bed to find the old man standing by her bed, she really wasn't prepared for what Albus Dumbledore told her…_

"Remus Lupin?" Kassidy ask coming up next to a sandy haired boy who was standing next to the tree in the courtyard.

"Yes," He said a bit startled that she would approach him.

"Um, hi. I'm Kassidy Barlow." Kassidy begin extending her hand, he shook it curiously. "I was told by Professor McGonagall that you could help me with understanding all this stuff." She said flourishing her hand to her books. "You don't have to if you don't want but I'm kind of scared to ask anyone in my house-"

"I'll be happy to," Remus said, and he was. He'd been meaning to talk to her since the beginning of the term but was too shy to approach her.

Kassidy gave him smile. "You are a god among men,"

He shrugged. "When did you need help?"

"Whenever you're free," She told him shifting her books causing one to drop.

Remus instinctively picked it up and handed it back to her.

"Once again, thanks."

He smiled shyly.

"So are you free tonight?" Kassidy asked praying he was. She had a big essay that need to be done, and she had no idea how to get it done right.

He nodded.

"Can you meet me in the library at seven?"

"I'll be there," He said causing Kassidy to bite her lower lip in nervous anticipation, he was kinda cute.

'man is he going to think I'm stupid.' She thought wryly.

"So, I'll see you then," She said taking a step backwards and turning around knocking full force into James Potter.

"Watch it will you?" He said crossly as Kassidy bend down to pick up the books she'd dropped.

"Tell me Potter, do you work at being an ass or does it come naturally?" She asked once again securing her books and standing up.

"Don't you have a date with Snape?" He snapped back.

"Why yes I do, thanks for reminding me." Kassidy told him walking off. "Oh," She said turning back around. "I would have apologized about running into if you had given me a chance."

James glared after her.

"So what did she want with you?" James asked Remus turning his attention to his friend.

"Nothing really," Remus lied. He didn't really feel like getting the micky taken out of him right now.

"You're an awful liar," James informed noting how Remus glanced at Kassidy's retreating figure.

"What's going on?" Sirius asked coming up next to them.

"Remus was seen talking with said Slytherin enemy Kassidy Barlow." James told his friend.

"About what?" Sirius asked curiously.

"Nothing," Remus told them shifting his book bag uncomfortably.

"Aw, come on mate, you can do better." Sirius informed knowing exactly what his friend thought, and he didn't blame Remus one bit.

James nodded enthusiastically. "What about Sarah Jorns?" He offered.

Sirius nodded in agreement. "Not bad, great legs."

"No thanks," Remus declined. He hated how the two of them were always trying to set him up.

"Not that Barlow doesn't have great legs," Sirius interjected. "or a good arse, cause she does."

James nodded in agreement, there was no denying the facts.

"But she's a slytherin and it's a known fact that our houses don't get along."

"Yea, and she has that scar on her arm, you don't want to go with someone who has an ugly thing like that do you?" James asked his friend.

"Will you two stop it?" Remus asked. Honestly, if those two weren't trying to fix him up with someone…

"You don't really like her do you?" James asked.

"Sirius seems to," Remus said.

"I like LOOKING at her not TALKING to her, big difference." Sirius defended.

"Well it's not anything about that, if you two put half the effort on studying as you do as trying to get a girl-"

"We'd be like you." James finished.

Remus shook his head. "If you'll excuse me, I have an essay about goblin wars to write."

"I'm kind of worried about him," James told Sirius as Remus walked off.

"Aw he'll be fine, besides," Sirius said grinning. "Annie Pye is heading this way." James smiled as the Ravenclaw Captain came up to them.

Later that evening Kassidy sat in the library trying to think about if she'd written her essay correctly, she had been racking her brains and nothing would come back to her. "This is so fucking gay," She muttered throwing the quill down and rubbing her forehead trying to focus, the homework was giving her a headache. 'I hate school.'

"Need any help?" Remus asked as he sat down across from her, it was exactly seven.

"I'm failing," Kassidy said with a groan. She hated essays, she hated anything that had to do with forming a correct grammatical sentence.

Remus reached over the table, took the parchment and began to read it.

"Not bad," He said, but his tone was unconvincing. 'This is horrible,' He thought but he didn't want to put her down.

"You don't have to be nice, I know it sucks." Kassidy assured frowning. "Professor Slughorn is ridiculous; I mean can you really make a potion that can save you from death? Because that would've come in handy many a times." She told him as she swept her hand up the feather tip. "And what is up with the feathers? I need a pen."

Remus smiled sympathetically. "Potions is a bit difficult at first but it will get easier, and your essay really isn't too bad. But as for a pen, I don't know what that is."

Kassidy laughed. "Sorry, I'm just freaking out. Its just I was always told that this whole world didn't exist and now…"

Remus nodded in understanding, he knew that's how most Muggles felt when they got to  
Hogwarts. "Now about this essay," He began scanning through it again trying to tell her what needed fixed first. "It would help if you would write about where Brogus is found."

"I did," Kassidy told him taking the paper away. "Okay so I didn't." she contradicted scanning it to not find Brogus mentioned anywhere on the paper.

"That's why I'm here." Remus told her.

"And I owe you the world," Kassidy said adding it on the parchment. She smiled as she scribbled down where Brogus is found and what its properties for making Elixer were.

Kassidy had lied about McGonagall, while Minerva had mentioned he was a good student she never suggested he be her tutor. Kassidy actually saw something about him, something dark and secretive in his eyes, and it was attractive. And she really was scared to ask anyone else in her house as they were all creepy and potentially very evil people.

True he was about 27 years older than she was since it was 1974 and she was born is 1985. So she wasn't even born, Avenue Q wasn't around yet and John Lennon was still alive! It was a blast to the past and most inconvient for Kassidy since she only knew the things that weren't invented.

Kassidy glanced up to see Remus staring at her but then he blushed and looked away when he noticed she saw. She stifled a laugh by biting her lower lip and went back to writing the essay.

Remus liked to watch Kassidy do homework, her intensity and enthusiasm on learning things and doing things right was refreshing, especially compared to his friends, who were very intelligent but didn't seem to want to expand their knowledge.

"Question," Kassidy said stopping and staring at the words she had just written down. "Do you spell Brogus, b-r-o-g-u-s or b-r-o-g-o-u-s?"

"b-r-o-g-u-s," Remus told her with a smile, being her tutor would be interesting to say the least…the very least…


	2. Stop, Drop and Roll

The tutoring continued for the rest of the semester, with Remus meeting Kassidy in different places due to the material they were covering. And it wasn't until early December as the two sat outside in the snow going over fire charms that any of the Marauders's noticed.

Peter nudged James who ribbed Sirius and pointed in the direction.

"I don't believe it," He said and they headed over to them.

Kassidy shrieked excitedly as the small piece of wood burst into flame. "I did it! Two points!"

Remus laughed at her, it had taken nearly twenty minutes to get it.

"Lovely weather to be out and about, don't you think Sirius?" James asked as they came close to the two.

"Oh yes, epically when you're sitting and freezing your arse off. Nothing nicer in my book." Siruis replied.

"Hello Potter, Black, Pettigrew." Kassidy said politely throwing snow over her burning twig.

"Hello to you Barlow," James said looking at Remus. "What are you two doing out here?"

"Nothing too terribly important." Remus told them not wanting to tell them about the help he was giving Kassidy, James would see it as mutinous behavior.

"I see… working on your charms are you?" James asked Kassidy noting the steam that was coming up from the pile of snow next to her.

"As I matter of fact I am, so if you don't mind I need a bit more practice." Kassidy made a gesture for them to keep moving, she needed to work on it some more.

"Actually I'm a bit too cold to just this minute, maybe you could warm me up?" James asked with a wicked grin.

"James," Remus said shaking his head, he did not want them to argue, it wasn't even noon yet.

"Oh no problem," Kassidy said casually pointing her wand at him, a spark of blue shot out and hit the bottom of his robes, catching him on fire. "Stop, drop and roll." She reminded with a smile.

"How did you do that?" Remus asked his mouth hanging open, Kassidy hadn't said a thing which was remarkable, because some full grown wizards couldn't use a spell without saying the incantation.

"Because I'm special like that." Kassidy said with a shrug before turning her full attention to the others.

Sirius and Peter were trying to put James out. Sirius finally threw him in the snow and piled snow on top of him extinguishing the flames.

Kassidy couldn't stop laughing at the shocked looks; it was bad enough with the look on Remus's face but Potter getting body slammed on the ground was priceless. She didn't know if she'd ever stop laughing.

"Oh you think that's funny?" James asked getting up livid.

"Because it was," she said holding onto her sides.

James looked at Remus who was trying his best not to laugh, but he wasn't doing a very good job at it.

"Nice girl you got Remus," James told him making Kassidy laugh harder. It was funny how people thought they were dating even though they weren't, all on the count that Remus was too shy to ask.

"Why thank you," Remus said smiling knowing that saying it would freak James out, he was teasing but James didn't know that.

James, Sirius and Peter were shocked.

"Aw, thanks sweetie," Kassidy said patting Remus's hand teasingly.

"Wha. How?" Sirius asked, this was just getting weirder and weirder by the minute.

"I'm sorry what did you say?" Kassidy asked with a frown. "I cant hear you when you mumble,"

"I need to sit down," James said and they walked off with Kassidy and Remus laughing heartily after them.

Kassidy walked quickly out of her Transfigurations class the next afternoon trying to steady all the books in her arms. She's almost had about enough of all the homework, she had thought high school was bad, then she got to Hogwarts.

'Thank god today's the last day,' She thought happily. Christmas was in less than six days and it was Friday, she had all weekend to get the essays done.

But Kassidy hated Potions, mostly because it dealt with perfect measurements and things, which not only confused her but frustrated her as well. History of Magic was so fucking dull it brought her almost to the brink of tears everyday. Transfiguration and Defense Against the Dark Arts were the best, homework was actually almost fun in those classes, and she was always learning so much and she retained it because it was fun! Her feelings on Herbology were neutral.

"Can I help you?" Remus asked coming up next to her and taking some of the top books off into his arms, she looked like she desperately needed help and he was more than happy to oblige.

"Your soo sweet," Kassidy said appreciatively.

"How did you do on the Dark Arts essay?" Remus asked curiously, he knew she had been excited about doing it.

"I got an Outstanding," Kassidy told him proudly as they walked off towards the Great Hall for lunch.

"You do really well in that class," Remus said, but she could tell it bothered him.

"What's such a big deal about it then?" She asked as they trudged up the stairs to the main floor.

"Because there's not a dark wizard that wasn't in Slytherin who enjoyed the Dark Arts," A voice said behind them. They turned to see James Potter and Sirius Black behind them with Peter in tow.

"So I'm a little sadistic, so what? It doesn't mean I'm Voldemort or anything," Kassidy said hotly, his explanation was uncalled for.

She could have cut through the tension that followed with a sword it was so thick.

"Your not supposed to say you-know-who's name," Remus said after a silent moment.

"Why not? Fearing a name is stupid, I mean, Hitler did some pretty awful stuff, worse than what Voldemort," Again immediate tension. "Has done and we still say his name,"

No one said anything to her.

"No wonder you and Snivillus are friends," Potter said walking ahead of her. "Both of you future death eaters,"

Kassidy instinctively threw one of her books at him, hitting him square on the back of his head, in the short time she'd been there she'd learned that there was an evil wizard who like all villains wanted to take over the world and had minions as all bad people did.

"You want to insult me Potter say it to my face!" She dared as he turned towards her, his wand out.

"Demre-"

"Thirty points from Gryffendor!" A shrill voice called out and they all looked behind James to see Professor McGonagall. "Mister Potter for the last time there is NO hexing or jinxing in the hallway, and to make it more clear you shall spend a week in detention with me, is that understood?"

"But Barlow, she-"

"Not another word!" McGonagall demanded. "Now I suggest you hurry and get to the Great Hall,"

Kassidy smiled sweetly at James as she glided past him, stopping only to pick up her book. That was what she called poetic justice.

"I wish you two wouldn't start things like that," Remus told Kassidy shaking his head.

"Hey I have done nothing to him, he started it," Kassidy felt like a six year old saying that. Why did Potter make her feel stupid?

"Well from now on I'll start issuing detentions for behavior like that,"

"I hope you're joking because there is no way that I will EVER talk to you again if you give me a detention for treating Potter as he deserves to be treated."

Remus just shook his head and handed back her books as they separated to sit at their respected house tables.

Kassidy sat there at the table, her books sitting beside her for the longest time in thought. 'Potter is so cruel, how could he say something like that? He doesn't even know me!'

But still, she couldn't shake that nasty feeling off of her that maybe he was right.

"There's not a dark wizard that wasn't in Slytherin," Potters voice rang in her head. Kassidy didn't know if it was a generalization or not 'Shurly not ALL of them.' She thought looking at the people around the Slytherin table.

Yeah, Kassidy could see how people thought that. One look at Malfoy and his gang and it was a wonder why Slytherin house even existed. It was like they were promoting evil wizards to try to take over the world.

The house allowed people like Malfoy to think he was better than everyone else because he was a "pure blood"; a child of an incestual family was more like it. Or Crabbe because he was rich, all the money in the world could not buy that boy a brain.

'I'm not as bad as them, am I?' she asked herself. The sorting hat thought so…

_Kassidy sat on the stool, listening as a voice went off in her head, a voice that wasn't hers._

"_I see you have courage, oh yes, a lot of courage, lots of heart too… But there's a lot of mischief as well, cunning thoughts and evil deeds…yes. Yes."_

_Kassidy pulled the hat off her head. "What the fuck?" she whispered._

"_Miss Barlow what are you doing?" Professor McGonagall asked curtly._

"_It talks," Kassidy said freaked out. "Hats aren't supposed to talk,"_

"_Put it on Miss Barlow and wait until it tells you your house,"_

"_But," Kassidy argued then shoved the hat back on at the look McGonagall gave her._

"_Afraid of the truth are we?" The hat continued. "But where to put you? Where would you find yourself fit? Surly not in Ravenclaw or Huffelpuff, no. Too mild and tame for you…."_

"_Oh will you get on with it?" Kassidy muttered impatiently. People were beginning to fidget at how long it was taking._

"_Very well then…You are strong willed, and will go to whatever means to achieve what you want… I believe you'll be best in SLYTHERIN!"_

_Kassidy quickly took the hat off her head and shoved it back to McGonagall and went to sit at the table who was cheering loudly. It was unnerving to be told things about yourself, especially from a talking hat._

"_Welcome to Slytherin!" The girl to Kassidy's left said clapping her shoulder._

"_Thanks," She said giving a nervous smile. 'Why is she touching me?' Kassidy had a thing about people she didn't know touching her._

"_I'm Holly Breyburn," The girl introduced._

"_Kassidy Barlow," She said eyeing the girls hand as it didn't move off her shoulder._

"_Oh! Sorry," Holly said removing her hand. "I just get a little too friendly, but I'm not that way I swear!"_

_Kassidy laughed. Thank god! FINALLY someone she could talk to! She settled down and watched as the others were sorted but Kassidy couldn't help but notice a boy sitting at the table across from her who was giving her more than a passing glance…_

"Are you just going to sit there or are you going to eat?" A voice said interrupting Kassidy's thoughts.

"Huh?" Kassidy asked looking over to see Holly. "Oh, yeah, I'm eating," She said pulling all the food that was in arms reach over to her plate and began piling it on. Though Kassidy couldn't help herself to look over her shoulder at Remus who was doing the same and share in a secret smile.


	3. Snogging Remus and the FFA

A/N: please review, even if you think it fucking sucks, which it very well might. Please let me know, any constructive criticism would be very much appreciated. ENJOY! I SWEAR the next chapter is SOO much better.

Remus and Kassidy sat under a tree by the lake "studying", exams and O.W.L.'s were less than nine days, but even then their brains couldn't take in anymore. And being so close to each other was a serious distraction.

"I give up!" Kassidy said shutting her book and leaning up against the tree. "If I read one more word by head will explode!"

Remus nodded and followed suite. "Now what do we do?"

Kassidy gave him a playful frown and kissed him.

"Honestly you two, enough public display of affection," Sirius said making a face as he walked up to them.

"You're just jealous," Kassidy told him as he sat down next to Remus.

"I don't like you," Sirius assured, although not entirely true.

"Not me," She said rolling your eyes. 'As if wanting to be with me was an issue,'

"I'm jealous because you get to snog Remus?" Sirius said. Surly that's not what she meant?

"Where's a video camera when I need one?" Kassidy asked wishing she had one to record that.

"I didn't mean it like that," Sirius objected. "I really didn't," He promised Remus who started laughing.

"Oh come on Sirius, you can't deny your feelings for long," Kassidy teased.

"What goes on in that head of yours?" Sirius asked, most of what she said was very sick, funny but sick.

"I think it's more of her family life," James remarked joining their party. "Not get enough love at home Barlow?"

Kassidy stared at Potter, her jaw open. This was the first time either had attacked the family.

"What's the matter Barlow? Hit too close to home?"

Kassidy wanted to wring his neck, or kick him till he died. But she did neither; she just got up and walked off, trying her best not to cry.

"James," Remus said disapprovingly, watching as Kassidy retreated towards Hagrid's, her shoulders slouched.

"What?" James asked. "She normally doesn't care what I say to her."

"But you normally don't mention her family," Sirius said as Remus gathered up Kassidy's books.

"What do you have a crush on her Sirius?" James asked frustrated at his friend's response. "It was only a joke."

"Yeah well, I don't think she thought it was funny," Remus said getting up.

"Where are you going?" James asked.

"To talk to Kassidy,"

"What are you her dog? Sorry Padfoot."

"No offense taken," Sirius assured.

Remus frowned at James before following Kassidy.

"I know someone who's a little overly sensitive today," James said folding his arms behind his head as he lay down in the grass. What was with everyone?

"Yea, well look at it as a plus, we now know how to thoroughly piss Barlow off." Sirius told James.

"This is true," James agreed with a grin.

Kassidy was vaguely aware that she was being followed, but she was crying too much to really care.

"Houdini!" Kassidy called as she stopped by where the forest began. She wasn't going in there, especially since she learned there were giant spiders. And she'd had more than her fair share of being tortured by them in Mirkwood, let alone in the Forbidden Forest. "Houdini!" She called again cupping her hands around her mouth to better project her voice.

"He's been a bit reclusive lately," Hagrid said coming out of his hut.

"Oh," Kassidy said turning away from him, trying to brush all the evidence of her tears away.

"Everythin alright ther Kassidy?" Hagrid asked curiously. Normally she didn't seek Houdini out unless something was wrong. "Whats ther matter?"

"Noth-nothing," Kassidy said trying to steady her voice turning back towards him with a fake smile. "Fine, Potter's being an ass again," She confessed knowing she didn't fool Hagrid.

"James? Oh, e's alright after you git ter know 'em." Hagrid assured.

"Yeah," Kassidy said with a snort. "He's sure made that impression on me,"

"Yer just gotta give 'em time,"

"I've known him what, six, seven months? I've never once given him a reason not to like me but all he does is hex me and be a stupid son of a bitch,"

"Kassidy," Remus said coming up next to her trying to catch his breath. He'd been running after her, she was a really fast walker. "You alright?"

"No! I'm not alright!" Kassidy said turning to him. "We were having a nice day to ourselves and then comes dumb and dumber!"

"I jus remembered, I have ter do somethin fer Dumbledore," Hagrid mumbled before walking off briskly, he didn't want to listen to Kassidy explode, he'd heard her before and didn't want to be around.

"Why are you friends with them? All they do is pick on you!" Kassidy asked.

"You don't know them," Remus told her. He wished he could tell her how they helped him during the full moons, but he didn't want to risk ruining their relationship.

"Oh I know them well enough to know their both members of the FFB!"

"The what?" Remus asked, he'd never heard that before.

"Future fuck ups of Britain,"

"Kassidy, you shouldn't say that," Remus admonished softly. He knew they'd hurt her feelings one too many times but he couldn't not protect his friends.

"Were you even there?" Kassidy asked. "Potter doesn't even know about my family, he doesn't know jack shit, none of you do!"

"So then, tell me about your family," Remus said sitting down on the grass.

"What?" Kassidy asked confused at the turn on conversation. "I'm not done ranting on Potter yet!"

"What do your parents do?" Remus asked trying to change the conversation. Kassidy stared at him for a few minutes. What was he playing at?

"I don't remember," She told him giving up and sitting down across from him.

"Huh?" Remus asked confused. "How can you not remember what they do?"

"I just don't," Kassidy said pulling up the grass. "Sometimes I can't even remember what they sounded like, or the color of their eyes. Simple stuff."

"Do they live in America?"

"Yes and no," Kassidy said trying to think about how to explain it to him. "As I'm sure you've figured out, I'm not from this universe,"

Remus nodded, he'd heard the first conversation she and Dumbledore had when she first arrived here, it had freaked him out at first, but now it just seemed to fit her.

"So yes, they live in America, just not in your America- in a different America, the one I'm originally from."

"How long has it been since you've seen them?"

"Too long," She said not wanting to tell him the exact year, he would definatly think she was crazy, not that she was denying it but admitting that to him would be a little too much.

What she didn't tell him was that it was 442 years, 23, 051 weeks, 161 thousand 362 hundred days last October. She kept track, she didn't know how she did, most of the time she didn't know what day it was, but she knew how long she'd been gone.

"Do you have any siblings?"

"Two, Jeffery and Melanie, both of them are younger."

"Do you mind talking about this?" Remus asked noting how her eyes glazed as if she was about to cry.

"A little, mostly because I cant remember all that much about them."

"What do you remember?"

"Well…" Kassidy said trying to think about it. She did remember a few things…

"_Kassidy, please," Melanie whined crawling on her._

"_Mel, I said later," Kassidy told her little sister shoving her off as she tried to read the history assignment._

"_Moooom!" Melanie called out the room. "Kassidy won't play with me!"_

"_Kassandra go play with your sister for crying out loud!" Kassidy heard her mom's voice carry from downstairs._

"_Tattle tale," Kassidy told her sister who just stuck her tongue and scrambled off the bed. _

_Kassidy slowly got off her bed and followed Melanie into her room._

"_You can have this one," Melanie said handing her sister a red headed doll._

"_But she's ugly," Kassidy protested handing her back. "I want to play with this one,"_

"_Fine," Melanie sighed letting her sister have the holiday Barbie._

"_So what's going on today?" Kassidy asked picking up a Barbie brush and brushing the doll's hair. _

"_Well, Ken and Barbie are fighting because Barbie doesn't want to quit her job at the hospital and Ken is insecure because Barbie makes more money than him so he doesn't feel like he's fulfilling his duties the husband should,"_

"_What?" Kassidy asked stopping and staring at her six year old sister._

"_I saw it on tv," Melanie said strapping Ken in the Ferarri car._

"_Oh,"_

"_So, I'm Ken and your Barbie," Melanie said. "Now, Ken's coming to pick up Barbie from the hospital."_

"_Barbie wears a ballgown to work?" Kassidy asked looking at the dolls outfit._

"_Hello, she's Barbie," Melanie said rolling her eyes._

"_Right, but why doesn't Barbie drive herself?"_

"_Because Ken is a control freak,"_

"_Mom really needs to lay off the soaps." Kassidy told her sister shaking her head as they began to play._

"What's a soap?" Remus asked not familiar with the term.

"A soap opera, they're on daytime tv. My mom used to love watching them, as the world turns, all my children, the young and the restless, their over dramatized versions of real life." 'Yeah my life,' She thought.

"Tv shows?"

"How'd you know?"

"My dad's a muggle, he likes to watch the football games."

"Really? That's so cool! Is he a Packers fan?"

"I don't know," Remus said shrugging his shoulders.

"So," She said leaning forward, a wicked gleam in her eye.

"What?"

"How are we going to get back at Potter?"


	4. A Prefects Revenge

"What do you mean?" Remus asked.

"I want to do something, I'm sick of how he thinks he can treat people as if theyre less than human, and how he gets away with it." Kassidy told Remus.

"Oh. What did you have in mind?" He asked, if it wasn't too bad he'd let her do it.

"Follow me," She said taking his hand and leading him up towards the castle.

"Where are we going?" Remus asked as they walked down the hallways off the school.

"You'll see," Kassidy assured with a smile.

"Why are we going to the kitchen?" Remus asked as they hurried along the corridor.

"You'll see," She said again and they entered the kitchen. Immediately half a dozen house elves came up to them.

"Could I please have three dozen rotten eggs and some sardines?" Kassidy asked sweetly.

"And just what are you planning to do with that?" Remus asked curiously as the house elves scattered to get what she'd asked for.

"We're going to egg Potter and Black's stuff." She told him with a dark laugh.

Remus stared at her.

"we are not,"

"Yes we are," She told him as the house elves scurried about to get her what she'd asked for. "And can you put that in a bag?" She asked.

"No,"

"YES," She said. "Are you always going to let them get away with making fun of you, of me?"

Remus looked at her. "But I'm a prefect,"

"Exactly! Set the example that people should not put up with being degraded."

Remus disagreed, Sirius and James had yes made fun of him, more than usual now, but never degraded him, teased incessantly yes.

"Thank you so much," Kassidy told the house elves who just smiled and bowed to her. "Lets go," she told him and they hurried over towards the main hall."Lead the way,"

"I don't know," Remus told her, this wasn't what he'd had in mind.

"Carpe diem! La vive boheime! Vivre la résistance!" Kassidy said trying to think of any phrase that might persuade him.

"Alright, alright." Remus agreed and they started up the stairs hand in hand. They stopped in front of the fat lady's portrait. "Flippundus," Remus said and the picture swung open.

"I've got to remember that," Kassidy said aloud as they went in.

Luckily for them only two girls were in the common room and they looked up at them.

"Your not supposed to be in here," Lily told her.

"I'm doing my catharsis," Kassidy told her. Lily didn't look convinced. "We're going to get back at Potter and Black." She told them showing the bags contents.

"oh then by all means," Lily said smiling as she went back to her book. The other girl just raised her brow.

"I knew I always liked her," Kassidy told him as they went up the boy's dormitory stairs.

Remus took a deep breath before opening the door. "Wow, pretty cool." Kassidy said walking in.

"That one's Sirius's, this one's James's," Remus told her pointing at the beds.

"Okay you take Black, I'll take Potter." She said dividing up the foul smelling eggs between them.

"I can't believe I'm doing this," Remus admitted taking the egg and shoving it in Sirius's pillow.

"I can't believe you were so easily persuaded," Kassidy told him smashing the egg into Potter's covers.

"You have to smash it," She told him seeing him just sticking them in Sirius's trunk.

"Like so," she demonstrated throwing an egg hard into Potter's trunk, it exploded all over its contents.

Remus shrugged and squashed the egg with one of Sirius's shirts.

"God it smells," Kassidy said wrinkling her nose.

"Great isn't it?" Remus asked smiling, he really was feeling better.

"Your really getting into this revenge thing aren't you?" She asked as he shoved the sardines in Sirius's pants and started putting some in the curtain folds.

"Oh that's a good idea," She said stepping up on Potter's bed and doing the same.

It took only ten minutes and the room reeked.

"Go team!" Kassidy said as she threw the last egg into James's book bag.

Remus grinned as they gave each other high fives. "You're one hell of a guy,"

He shrugged and they quickly ran out of the room knowing James and Sirius would be back shortly. They laughed all the way back to the Great Hall for dinner and sat down at their respected tables though across from each other as usual.

"What's so funny?" Peter asked Remus curiously.

"Nothing," Remus said immediately taking on a serious expression as he piled his plate. But he turned around and gave Kassidy a smile who returned it immediately.

"I'm so tired," James said as the four of them trudged up the stairs to their dormitory hours later.

"I just want to crawl in my bed and not get up till noon tomorrow." Sirius agreed opening the door. Immediately a strong smell of rotten eggs and fish hit them.

"What the bloody hell happened?" James asked looking wide eyed in the room.

"We've been attacked," Sirius said walking towards his bed. "Somebody egged my bed." He said in disbelief.

"Me too," James said blinking a few times trying to figure this out.

"I'm fine," Peter said looking at his bed.

"I'm good too," Remus said smiling when his back was turned.

"Who would do this?" Sirius asked going through his trunk to see the gunk all over his things.

Remus tried not to laugh but a snicker escaped him.

"You… you didn't do this did you Remus?" James asked turning to his friend, hurt etched on his face.

"It wasn't just me," Remus told them letting the cat out of the bag.

"YOU!" Sirius asked dumbstruck.

Remus shrugged.

James thought for a minute then it dawned on him. "Barlow," He said.

"What? She cant get in here she doesn't know the password." Sirius objected.

"But she knows someone who does," James told him.

Remus began to laugh as he crawled into his nice, clean, fresh smelling bed.

"but why?" Sirius asked.

"I got tired of you two, and Kassidy reached her breaking point," Remus told them.

"But you know we don't mean it," James defended trying to asses the damage.

"Next time maybe you'll think twice about it," Remus told them. "Goodnight," He said pulling the curtains closed.

James and Sirius went looking for Kassidy the next afternoon, Remus had demanded that they apologize to her but they were going to make her apologize to them. It wasn't hard to find her, she was sitting cross legged reading down in the dungeons.

"Whew, Black, Potter you guys might want to wash your robes, you kinda smell." Kassidy said surprised at how strong the smell was.

"Kudos to you getting Remus in on your crusade Barlow, but that wasn't funny, in fact we demand an apology." James said crossing his arms across his chest smugly.

"I don't know what kind of fucked up fantasyland you two live in, but I am not apologizing. It was poetic justice." Kassidy disagreed turning the page not even looking up at them.

"You wont eh?" James asked pulling out his wand and pointing it at her.

"Put it away Potter," Kassidy warned merely glancing up.

"No," James said. "Say you're sorry,"

"Psh, yeah I'm sorry," Kassidy said shutting her book and setting it on her lap. Sirius and James were taken back at her apology. "You two don't have a brain."

"Heupilan-" James began.

"Expelliarmus," A voice shot out and James's wand went flying. Sirius's wand came out but Kassidy only yawned.

"Snivellus," Sirius said turning to see the dark haired boy behind them.

"Will you stop acting like your three?" Kassidy asked shooting Sirius a dark look.

"I didn't know you and Snivellus were this close," James said glaring at them both.

"You learn something new everyday," She told him smiling sweetly as she got up. "Thanks Severus," Snape merely nodded at her as she passed by him. "Be sure to keep your distance though, they both smell really bad."

Sirius and James both glared at Kassidy's retreating figure as she walked up the stairs. Both vowing that it wasn't over, not by a long shot.


	5. Thumbelina

"Shut up Potter!" Kassidy warned for the last time throwing her backpack on the ground and raising her hand about ready to hit him.

"That's not very nice," James said raising his wand and saying some weird words.

Kassidy closed her eyes expecting to feel a third eye or antlers but instead she felt something sharp touch her arm. She opened her eyes to find herself in the grass; the only problem was taller than she was. "What the fuck did you do?" She screamed at Potter who was a massive size bigger than her.

"James where'd she go?" Sirius asked getting on his knees and scanning the ground for Kassidy, but there was an awe in his voice, and it pisssed Kassidy off.

"Oh I suspect she's about the size of an acorn right now," He said smugly. 'Serves you right.' He thought.

"That's the size of your brain!" Kassidy screamed. This was not in any way funny, and Kassidy normally could think of something to amuse herself but this wasn't one of them.

Sirius spotted Kassidy and she tried to run as his hand came swooping down to pickher up.

"Whoa James," Sirius said holding you out on display on his palm.

James bent down to see her clearly and laughed.

"How do you like that now Kassidy?"

"You stupid fucker!" She screamed at him looking to see she was a little bigger than Sirius's thumb. "I'll kill you!"

"Oh come on now, can't you take a joke?"

"TURN ME BACK!"

"No, well not for the moment anyway. Sirius what do you say we teach her what happens when she starts messing around with 5th years?"

Sirius grinned and Kassidy found herself heading for Sirius's shirt pocket.

"Oh NO! NO NO NO NO NO NO!" She protested as loudly as possible but Sirius mearly just opened the pocket and set her in there. "THIS ISNT FUNNY!" Kassidy shouted at him before sitting down but before she could blink she found herself falling down out of his pocket. Kassidy grabbed onto his pants slowing herself down a little and in seconds fell onto the ground.

"BLACK COME BACK!" She screamed in a panic as he and James walked off laughing.

Kassidy stood there watching them soon disappear from sight before she took some deep breaths and started to make herr way towards the castle.

"I'LL FUCKING KILL YOU!" Kassidy screamed, she knew he couldn't hear her but it made her feel better nonetheless

"Have either of you seen Kassidy?" Remus asked the next afternoon sitting down across from Sirius and James.

Sirius and James nearly choked on their potatoes. They forgot about her.

"I've been looking for her but nobody's seen her since yesterday." Remus continued loading his plate.

"Uh no, can't say we've seen her since yesterday," James said truthfully as he and Sirius got up.

"Where are you two going?"

"Oh I just remembered that I promised to write to my mum,"

"Does Sirius share the same obligation?"

"No, I forgot to make my bed,"

Remus knew something was up as the two raced out of the Great Hall.

"I forgot all about Barlow." James said as they ran up the stairs to the Gryffendor Tower.

Sirius tore through his wardrobe and found the shirt. Relived to still see it there he pulled it out and opened the pocket.

"Well?" James asked as Sirius's face went white. Sirius merely just put his finger through the pocket hole. James just stared. Sirius thought James's eyes might pop out of his head.

"How are we going to tell Remus we lost his girlfriend?

Kassidy sat down and rested her head against the stone wall of the Hogwarts main hall. It was almost 10 O'clock at night. She was exhausted, hungry, thirsty and out for blood. Her desire for revenge was the only thing that kept her going through the day. It had been almost unbearable, it was nearly like when Estel made her run for three days to find Merry and Pippin.

Kassidy vowed she would kill James Potter if that was the last thing she did. She stretched before running over to a third year Gryffedndor girl who was standing at the bottom of the stairs chatting with a friend.

Kassidy grabbed onto her sock and held on tight as she headed up the stairs. Gryffendor Tower was a lot closer then Slytherin's common room, and she wanted to see James and Sirius's faces when you showed up.

Kassidy had seen them searching for her all over the grounds that afternoon and had managed to avoid them, she didn't know what they wanted to do next.

She didn't think Potter had it in him to do something as horrible as that to her and now she understood why Severus Snape hated him and now, so did she.

Kassidy watched eagerly as sge entered the common room as let go of the sock and ran under a nearby chair. If she went out now chances are she'd get stepped on, something she never once had to worry about before.

"I will kill him, I will kill him," Kassidy assured herself out loud.

She sat and waited for what seemed like hours before the common room emptied out. But it had its advantages; she was able to play out several hundred scenarios of how she could kill Potter and Black. Her personal favorite was just beating the shit out of them.

The clock finally struck midnight giving Kassidy goose bumps and a rather creepy sense of satisfaction. She ran out from underneath the chair but stopped short to see a large furry cat standing in front of her staring at her.

"Oh fuck," She breathed before sprinted back under the chair, she could feel the wind of the cats paws as it tried to catch her. "Oh shit, fuck," Kassidy cursed pressing herself up against the furthest chair leg as the cats paws came flying at her with the claws out.

It caught a hold of her leg making you scream as the claw pierced her skin. Kassidy grabbed frantically at the carpet trying to slow him down, she didn't want to know what it would do once it had her out.

"Freckles, come on," A small voice said as the cat was lifted up taking Kassidy with it. It was a first year boy. "What were you doing down there?" He moved the cat so he could peer down at the floor and took no notice of Kassidy dangling from his cats paw.

"HELLO!" Kassidy screamed waving her hands as she hung upside down. "HELP!"

The boy looked for where it came from and nearly dropped his cat.

"TAKE ME UP TO THE SIXTH YEAR BOYS DORMATORY PLEASE!" Kassidy screamed. 'My voice is going to be gone soon.' She thought.

"Are you okay?" The boy asked wide eyed, clearly taken back at her appearance.

"JUST TAKE ME TO THE SIXTH YEAR DORMITORY!" She repeated as he shifted his cat to the other arm. He set her down gently and ran off up the stairs.

"NOO!!" Kassidy cried out in despair wanting to cry. "POTTER PREPARE TO DIE!" She screamed running towards the stairs yet again and began climbing up.

It took Kassidy close to two hours to scale up the stairs and when she got to the top she sprawled out and wanting to rest for ten minutes. But she forced herself up, knowing that if she didn't she would never get up.

Kassidy walked slowly over to the sixth year door and looked up at the knob. "No way in hell," She said aloud shaking her head at how high up the handle was. She was so close to give up now. Then she noticed that she could easily squeeze through the bottom of the door. "Oh they are not going to believe this," She said getting on her knees and army crawling into the room.

Kassidy stood up and blinked until her eyes adjusted to the light, or lack thereof. She could just make out the outline of Remus's bed, she would make him turn her back to normal and then she would annihilate the world's biggest dumb ass. Kassidy limped over to the bed, her leg aching and her fingers bleeding from the stairs.

"Uhh!" She grunted before beginning to climb up his bed sheets. That didn't take very long because she was so close to achieving her goal.

"REMUS!" Kassidy screamed as she slapped his face, knowing it wouldn't really hurt him. "REMUS JOHN LUPIN YOU GET UP THIS INSTANT!"

Remus took in deep breath and rolled over towards her.

"OPEN YOUR EYES!" Kassidy pleaded.

Remus stirred and slowly opened one eye. He blinked a few times and sat up quickly as he realized who she was.

"Wha?" He asked not being able to form any words.

"JUST CHANGE ME BACK!" Kassidy said stomping herr foot in frustration.

Remus scrambled for his wand and got back on his bed.

"Engorgio," He said softly.

Kassidy felt herself getting bigger and finally at her normal height. She give Remus an affectionate kiss.

"Thank you!" Kassidy said taking a deep breath before getting up. "POTTER!" She screamed going over to his bed and yanking open the curtains.


	6. Hogwarts Safari

James was startled awake as she grabbed his foot and yanked him on the ground, he looked up to find Kassidy standing over him, her eyes on fire.

"Take a good look around you, because you wont live to see daylight,"

James stared at her scared to death but before she could do anything Remus jumped behind her and dragged her out of the room as she screamed numerous profanities.

"Remus let me go! I have to kill him!" Remus pulled at her harder as she tried to get free, he was glad she was tired or she would've turned on him.

Remus dragged Kassidy into the common room before letting her go.

"Why do you always protect him?" Kassidy asked crying. "He's everything Snape said he was, I HATE HIM!"

Remus stared at her; it was too early in the morning to go over that.

"Kassidy, you're bleeding," He said instead gaping at the large cut on her leg.

"Miss these?" She asked showing him her bloody fingers.

Remus stared at them. "You need to go to the hospital wing,"

"No, I need to kill him!" You said pouncing on James as he came down the stairs followed by Sirius and Peter and a few other boys who had woken up due to the noise.

Kassidy tackled him to the ground and began hitting him.

It took the combined efforts of Sirius, Remus, Peter and another boy to get Kassidy off James. Fortunately for James he had blocked his face so only his arms were red.

"WHAT HAPPENED?" Lily asked completely confused as she stood standing at the bottom of the stairs.

"Well if you must know, I fell out of Black's pocket, went on a safari on the school grounds, was nearly killed by a spider and eaten by a cat, scaled up the dorm stairs, crawled under the sixth year boy's door and climbed up into Remus's bed so he could change me back to normal, not to mention I missed Transgigurations and Potions because I was the size of Thumbelina, thanks to the deranged mind of Potter."

"James, Sirius?" Remus asked turning to his two friends.

"Well, erm, we didn't mean for it to go that far." James stuttered.

"You really did this?" Remus asked getting angry.

"It was a joke, it just didn't go like we'd planned," Sirius interjected.

"WHAT THE FUCK WERE YOU THINKING?" Remus exploded. No one moved. "YOU COULD HAVE KILLED HER!"

"We're sorry," James said earnestly to Kassidy. Sirius nodded.

"Really sorry," Sirius agreed.

"NOW WILL YOU TWO STOP BEING INCOMPREHENSIBLE ASSES TO EACH OTHER?"

All three looked at him with the same 'you've got to be kidding' expression.

"For the rest of the term, next year you can start all over again," Remus compromised knowing he really was dreaming if he thought that would ever happen.

"Alright Barlow, truce," James said sticking out his hand. Kassidy stared at him for a few moments, her eyes still blazing. James was a little afraid she would rip his arm off.

"Truce," Kassidy mumbled grudgingly taking his hand, but she squeezed his fingers hard to let him know she wasn't going to forget this. James winced at her tight grip.

"Good, now Kassidy lets get you down to the hospital wing," Remus said taking her arm and leading her out of the common room.

"I can't believe you two did that," Lily said coming down on them angrily.

"I didn't thin it would get-" James tried to explain.

"You didn't think because you don't have a brain Potter," Lily interjected. "If you thought for once in your entire meaningless existence you would know just how horrible of a person you really are!" And with that she walked out after Remus and Kassidy.

"Well…." Sirius said after a silent moment. "I think you ruined any chance you had with her,"

James glared at his friend and they back to their dormitory to get a few hours of sleep. James knew he hadn't blown his last shot with Lily and he would prove to her he didn't have a meaningless existence, he would do it by keeping his truce with Kassidy, as painful as it was going to be.


	7. Stupid Fuckers and the WWF

Kassidy sat alone in her compartment fuming silently. This year fucking SUCKED SUCKED SUCKED SUCKED! Kassidy kicked the floor in her frustration, people in this universe were spineless fucking fuckers, and she was being nice.

Bored, she stared out the window and reflected on the event the previous week that caused her to be in her current state of loneliness.

_Kassidy almost skipped out of her potions classroom, she was so excited. Today was the last day of exams! Plus, she was meeting Remus after his Defense Against the Dark Arts O.W.L. which meant they could finally stop studying, or at least she hoped. She never knew with him. _

_It sucked really, though her Defense Against the Dark Arts exam was a breeze, she knew more than anyone else, Professor Fraitel had even taken her aside and said she knew just as much as the 5th years, and he had talked to Dumbledore about putting her in with the 6th years, which was really exciting to think about. _

_Kassidy had to give credit where credit was due though; Severus helped her ALOT in understanding all the curses and counter jinxes that went along with it. He'd actually lent her his book to look through and learn stuff out of. Kassidy didn't care what people said about him, Severus Snape was actually a decent person, to her anyways._

"_REMUS!" Kassidy shouted over the loud buzz of student's conversations as she headed towards him._

"_Keep your voice down," She heard Remus say to the stooges as she came closer. But she dismissed it; they were probably making fun of her, as usual. She honestly didn't know why Remus was friends with them. They were real jerks, except for Peter, who she had hardly say anything at all. It had been five days since her truce with Potter and it was going surprisingly well, he was even polite to her when Remus WASN'T around. _

'_Ooo, I scared him good,' She thought with an evil laugh. Potter defiantly wouldn't ever try anything like that again, it was almost a guarantee. _

"_So how'd it go?" Kassidy asked walking in step with Remus. _

_Remus shrugged his shoulders._

"_Well I thought it was a piece of cake." Sirius told her. "I'll be surprised if I don't get an Outstanding on it at least."_

"_Me too," James said pulling out a snitch from his pocket. _

"_Please forgive me if I highly doubt that," Kassidy said shaking her head as the five headed outside, though not without a look from Remus._

"_Where'd you get that?" Sirius asked James curiously. _

"_Nicked it," James told him casually. _

"_You're a thief," Kassidy told James as they stepped out into the sunshine. Remus shot her a dark look. "What? I'm not being mean I'm only stating a fact." _

"_I borrowed it," James said frowning as Remus took Kassidy's hand, why his friend ever went for her was a mystery to him. Kassidy was hott yes, but her personality sucked. _

_Kassidy smiled at Remus, he was quick to forgive her, mostly because he felt bad that his friends were pricks to her. _

_They ended up sitting underneath a large tree overlooking the lake where Remus pulled out a book. _

"_Would you quiz me?" He asked her. _

"_But exams are almost over!" Kassidy said pouting; she had thought they might do something else for a change. _

"_But I still need to study for Transfigurations," Remus told her. _

"_Fine," She said taking the book. "What do pages 154 through 157 cover?" _

_Remus gave her a look and grabbed at the book. "Give it back." _

"_Wrong answer," Kassidy said smacking his hands playfully. _

"_The invisibility spell?" Remus asked off the top of his head. _

_She frowned. "Remus darling, how are you ever going to pass if you can't answer a simple question?" _

"_Well I'm banking on the answers just appearing on the page," Remus told her grinning and leaning in to give her a kiss._

"_Oh fuck Houdini!" She cried scrambling up. "I'll be right back!"_

_Sirius and James laughed at him as she ran towards the forest leaving Remus hanging. _

"_That's Kassidy." Remus told them sheepishly picking up his discarded book and reading it. Kassidy had a special relationship with Houdini, he wasn't sure why but he did know she met him every few days near Hagrid's hut which is probably where she was heading now._

_…………………………………………_

_Kassidy's smile died on her lips as she came back to find Potter holding Severus up by his wand. Her eyes blazed and she ran towards him. _

"_Anyone want to see Snivellus's underwear?" James asked before his voice was drowned out by a war cry. James turned around only to get hit head on by Kassidy who slammed him to the ground so hard it would've made the WWF proud. _

"_You fucking mewling ill breaded joitheaded giglet!" She screamed smacking James as hard as she could. _

_Sirius scrambled up from where he sat and rushed to pull Kassidy off his friend. _

"_Your girlfriends a real treat Remus!" James said sitting up, wiping the blood off his mouth. _

"_You're so fucking stupid Potter!" Kassidy yelled clawing at Sirius who had dragged her off him. _

"_Ouch!" Sirius said letting go as she nearly drew blood. _

_James quickly scrambled to his feet as Kassidy lunged at him again_.

Remus cautiously slid open the compartment door to see Kassidy sitting alone staring out the window.

"Kassidy?" He asked coming in and sitting across from her. Kassidy didn't reply, she merely just kicked his leg.

"Ouch," Remus said rubbing his knee where her foot had made contact.

"Why don't you stick up to him? He's a bully, and you encourage him!"

"I do not,"

"By not doing anything you send the message that its alright for people to be put on display in the most cruel and inhuman ways." Kassidy disagreed giving him another hard kick.

"I'm sorry alright?" Remus said putting his feet up so she couldn't hurt him.

"Sorry? You think a pathetic I'm sorry is going to fix anything?"

"You're the one who broke the truce," He reminded.

"Because he was fucking with my friend, you would've done the same thing if our placed had been swapped."

Remus sighed, this was going no where, it was almost the exact same conversation every time they talked since exams. "What do you want me to do?"

"LEAVE ME ALONE!" Kassidy yelled before facing the window again.

Remus was halfway out of the compartment before he turned back to her. "Maybe James was right; you just can't get along with a Slytherin."

Kassidy whipped off her shoe and chucked it at Remus who quickly shut the compartment door; it hit the glass with a resounding thud. She sat back discontented; she wished it had hit him in his cowardly pathetic face. But on crossing her arms she felt a piece of paper poke her arm.

Pulling it out she looked at the envelope closely, she hadn't remembered putting it there. Slowly she opened the seal and pulled the letter out.


	8. 99 Glorious Bottles for Stupidhead

A/N: Just so you know, anything in _italics _is part of a flashback. Does anyone know how to edit already posted chapters? If you do please let me know so I can fix previous chapters. ENJOY!

James, Peter and Sirius were sitting in the Hogwarts express compartment playing exploding snap when Remus came in.

"How'd it go?" Sirius asked glancing up as Remus sat across from him.

"She won't even listen to me," Remus told them beginning to feel guilty about what he said to her.

"Don't worry Moony, she'll come around," James said encouragingly.

The three stared at him in disbelief.

"What?" James asked. "I'm trying to be optimistic,"

"Just stick to being yourself," Sirius told him shaking his head.

James rolled his eyes and propped his feet up on the seat across from him. "She'll forgive you; you two are weird like that, always forgiving and forgetting, it's crazy!"

"I don't think she will," Remus said looking longingly out the window; he really wished they had a few more days at school so that they would have to talk.

"Why? What'd you say to her?" James asked excitedly leaning towards his friend.

"I don't want to say,"

"Remus you can't not tell us,"

"I don't want to say," Remus repeated crossing his arms and slouching back in his seat.

"WHAT-DID-YOU-SAY?"

"I told her..." Remus paused and lowered his voice as he continued. "I told her that you were right saying that a Gryffendor and a Slytherin couldn't get along,"

Sirius gave out a whistle and James stared at him. "You said that?"

Remus nodded.

"Did she hit you?"

"She threw her shoe at me, but she missed,"

"See! You two have hope yet, she missed so she really must care about you!" James told Remus trying to put it positively.

"She missed because I shut the door," Remus told them darkly. "What is with you trying to help? You don't like us being together!"

It was true, James didn't like it. But he hated the mood his friend had been in since O.W.L's and the thought of his mood staying that way was not comforting. James was actually happy that Remus had the kind of relationship he did with Kassidy, if Remus could get the girl he wanted then so could James.

James shrugged at the question and they all sat in silence for a while.

"What's that?" Peter asked looking up from his book.

Sirius's ears perked up as he heard someone coming down the hall.

"Who the hell is skipping?" James asked hearing the shuffling of feet.

"Glort, glory hallelujah! Glory glory hallelujah!" They heard someone singing down the hall loudly.

Remus shook his head. There was only one person who would skip down the Hogwarts Express singing an ancient American patriotic song….

"I passed!" They heard Kassidy exclaim as she opened the compartment.

The four looked at her dumbstruck.

"I passed!" She repeated jumping up and down not being able to take the large smile off her face.

"You passed?" Remus asked as it dawned on him what she was talking about.

"YES!" Kassidy laughed waving her letter at him.

"Congratulations!" Remus said sincerely as he got up and gave her a hug.

"I'm so excited!" She said wrapping her arms tight around him, this was so incredible.

They had forgotten about their argument as they always did.

"I hate to break up your makeup party but what exactly did you pass?" James asked confused.

Kassidy pulled back from Remus, her smile getting bigger as she threw the letter into his lap. "I just passed the newly created test by Professor Fraitel allowing me to be in 6th year Defense Against the Dark Arts, Dumbledore just wrote to tell me."

"Do you really hate us that much?" James asked flabbergasted.

"As a matter of fact, yes I do,"

Before James could reply the compartment door slid open again.

"What's this I've heard about you skipping down the corridor?" Lily asked Kassidy coming in, much to the licking of James.

"I just got accepted!"

"…Into a mental institution?" Lily asked confused. James snorted.

"Into the 6th year Defense Against the Dark Arts!"

"NO!" Lily said beaming.

"YES!"

The two started jumping up and down excitedly, mostly just to annoy Potter.

"I can't believe it! Finally someone with a brain!" Lily said sitting down across from James giving him a prime view of her bare legs. "No offense Remus," Lily added staring pointedly at Potter.

"None taken," Remus said with a grin as he and Kassidy sat down next to her.

"You're forgetting something," Sirius said casually flipping the hair out of his eyes.

"And what's that oh knowledgeable one?" Kassidy asked rolling her eyes; sometimes she swore he wasn't all straight.

"You're forgetting that Gryffendor's and Slytherin's might not be in the same class," Sirius said buffing his nails on his shirt at the title she bestowed on him, although it was laced in sarcasm.

"Are you crazy Sirius? We'll be stuck in the same class because whoever controls the universe obviously doesn't favor us!"

"What happened to mister optimism?" Remus asked smiling.

"Oh you just had to rain on my parade didn't you Barlow?" James asked, now regretting wanting the two to get back together.

"It was a shitty parade anyway," Kassidy assured leaning on Remus's shoulder smiling.

"I hate you," James told her.

"As if that's a shock," Lily said rolling her eyes.

"Don't worry Potter, I feel the exact same about you," Kassidy assured picking up the letter on his lap and folding it back up.

"Glad to know," James told her frowning as Kassidy and Lily laughed.

"What were you singing anyway?" Lily asked.

"Our troops are marching on, or at least that's what I think it's called," Kassidy said trying to think about it.

"What was up with the skipping?" James asked.

"Just trying to keep my insanity," Kassidy told him looping her arm through Remus's, then she hit his arm hard.

"What was that for?" Remus asked gently rubbing the spot.

"That's for agreeing with stupid head," Kassidy told him narrowing her eyes.

"Stupid head?" Remus asked wincing; he was defiantly going to get a bruise.

"I find it easier to speak to them in terms they understand," Kassidy explained sticking her tongue out.

""A little childish don't you think?" James asked crossly.

"Well I can't help it Potter, it's like when I'm talking to you I'm speaking to a four year old."

"Take that back," James told her giving a dark look to everyone as they laughed, Sirius, Peter and Remus tried to hide it but Lily laughed long and hard.

"No," Kassidy told him sweetly.

"Take it back,"

"Absolutly not,"

"Will you two just shut up?" Sirius groaned, it wasn't funny anymore. They sat in the compartment in silence for a long while before they went to change out of their robes.

"Hey, you want to put some real clothes on?" James asked Kassidy shielding his eyes as she came to sit down across from him.

"They are not that short," Kassidy disagreed but nevertheless tried to pull her shorts a little farther down.

"I like them," Lily told Kassidy coming in wearing a t-shirt and jeans.

"Thank you, I love the top by the way," Kassidy said, she had been wondering where her Cheap Trick concert tee had gone; now she knew.

"This must be the most boring train ride ever," Sirius commented. "Kassidy, tell us a joke,"

Kassidy thought for a second, there was one she'd been wanting to tell for a while.

"Okay, knock knock,"

"Whose there?" James asked unenthusiastically.

"You know,"

"You know who?" Sirius asked without thinking. Kassidy burst out laughing as they all stared at her shocked and appalled.

"YOU CANT MAKE JOKES LIKE THAT!" Sirius exploded.

"Fine, fine," Kassidy said giving in, she'd try it another time. "how about a little song?"

"NO." James told her but she began anyway.

"99 bottles of beer on the wall, 99 bottles of beer, you take one down, pass it around, 98 bottles of beer on the wall, 98 bottles of beer on the wall 98 bottles of-what?" She stopped as they all stared at her again. "Would you prefer it be vodka shots? Whiskey? I'm really not picky about my alcohol,"

"No, beers fine," Lily told her seeing the expression on Potter's face.

"Alright then, everybody!"

"98 bottles of beer on the wall, 98 bottles of beer," Lily and Kassidy sang, Remus reluctantly joined in. "You take one down, pass it around 97 bottles of beer on the wall!" Lily and Kassidy sang louder as they noticed the pained expressions on Black and Potter's faces.

"97 bottles of beer on the wall! 97 bottles of beer, you take one down, pass it around"…

'Make it stop," James pleaded silently as the singing continued. He prayed they either got to Kings Cross Station soon or that Sirius would take pity on him and end his misery.


	9. Parent Day at Kings Cross Station

The six got off the train together with James, Sirius and Peter nearly running to get away from them.

"I thought that was the song that never ended," James said needing something to take away his emmense headache.

"No, I'm saving that one for next time," Kassidy told him as they stepped onto the platform. Almost immeaditly they all lost each other as people swarmed around them. Only Kassidy and Remus stayed together because they were holding on tight to each other's hand.

"Well," Kassidy said brushing the dust of his shirt. "I'll see you in about two months,"

"I cant wait," Remus told her truthfully, summer break was going to be dull compared to the school year.

"Sorry about the singing, I did it just to annoy Potter,"

"I know," Remus assured and Kassidy kissed his cheek.

"Remus!" A woman's voice called breaking off their goodbye. Remus grinned as a tall woman come up to them and pulled him into a tight hug. Kassidy couldn't help but notice how much Remus looked like her.

"Kassidy, this is my mum, mum this is Kassidy," Remus said letting go of the woman and introducing the two.

Kassidy and his mum gave each other friendly handshakes.

"See you in September Moody!" James said to Remus clapping his hand on his friends shoulder.

"Write us," Sirius added as he and James walked off towards James's parents.

Kassidy watched them go jaw dropping as they playfully nudged each other and laughed. "Oh my god," She breathed as Sirius and James stayed closely by each other's side… They couldn't be…

"Kassidy, would you like to have lunch with us? Remus's father will be there and I'm sure he'd like to meet you." Mrs. Lupin was telling her pulling her back to them.

Remus wasn't sure what caused the disturbed look on Kassidy's face which prompted Mrs. Lupin to take back her offer.

"But I'm sure you have other plans so-"

"Oh no, I'd love to have lunch with you," Kassidy assured trying to fix her attention on Mrs. Lupin. "If that's alright?"

"Of course!" Mrs. Lupin said smiling, she couldn't not notice the looks her son was giving Kassidy. It warmed her heart as a mother to know that even though he had his condition he still was able to act like a normal 16 year old boy.

"Shall we go?" Remus asked as he and Kassidy grabbed their trunks.

"Lead the way," Kassidy said not being able to look over at Potter and Black without shuddering, Remus was friends with those two. But she was cornered by Lily and her family who was standing right next to Potter's.

"That's the girl I was telling you about!" Lily told her parents and sister leading them to where Kassidy and Remus.

"You two chat I'll get the car," Mrs. Lupin said patting their shoulders reassuringly as she went out of the station.

"Hello Mr. and Mrs. Evans," Kassidy greeting setting her trunk down and shaking their hands. "Hello, Petunia," The young girl just glared at Kassidy openly.

"We've heard so much about you," Mrs. Evans told Kassidy quickly seeing her daughters response.

"Oh…great," Kassidy said uncertainly looking at Lily hoping to get some sort of clue what she said.

"Don't worry, I've only told them everything."

Kassidy laughed in relief, she had a thing about first impressions, especially with parents.

"Hey Barlow?" Sirius asked coming up next to her, he didn't understand the look on her face.

"Huh?" Kassidy asked in a higher pitched tone then she mean to, she was a little freaked out, she had thought Sirius was straight.

"Just out of curiosity, are you trying out for Quiddich next year?"

"I don't know, why?" Kassidy asked looking over at Potter who was chatting with his dad, she could tell because he looked just like him.

"No reason," Sirius said with a shrug, he actually just wanted to talk to her since he knew she was going to an empty home, she didn't have a family anymore either and he felt like that connected them in a weird way.

"Do you know her Sirius?" A friendly voice asked behind him and Mrs. Potter peered at her.

"No mum," James groaned, the last thing he wanted his mum to do was be introduced to Barlow.

"I'm Kassidy," Kassidy said forcing a smile as she extended her hand. Man it was like bring your parent's to the train station day.

"I'm James's mother,"

"I'm so sorry," Kassidy blurted out, she quickly clamped her hand over her mouth as Sirius tried not to laugh and Remus stared horrified, Lily however didn't hold in her amusement and laughed openly.

"Oh, well it's lovely to meet you." Mrs. Potter said uncertainly. She knew her son could get a little carried away and Kassidy had probably been a victim.

"Great going Barlow," Sirius said as Mrs. Potter went to join Mr. Potter.

"What did you do?" James demanded to know coming up to Kassidy.

"I didn't mean to!" Kassidy objected. "She said she was your mom and it just slipped out I SWEAR!"

James didn't look convinced.

"I'm Mr. Potter,"

"No dad," James objected but it was too late his dad and Kassidy were already greeting each other.

"I'm James's father,"

"Why anyone would admit to that is beyond me," Kassidy said without thinking. Remus quickly smacked the back of her arm and Lily busted out laughing as James glared. Sirius wanted to laugh; he also wanted a place to stay over the summer so he kept quiet although it was difficult.

"I think we should go," Remus told her.

"Yes, lets go, lovely to meet you all," Kassidy agreed turning bright red. "Lily, I'll see you later,"

"Bye Kassidy," Lily said in between her laughter.

Remus and Kassidy quickly picked up their trunks and lugged them out of the station to the car where Mrs. Lupin sat waiting.

"Everything alright?" Mrs. Lupin asked seeing Kassidy's bright face.

"Everything's fine mum," Remus said although shaking his head. "Really Kassidy, did you have to apologize to his mum?"

"I couldn't help it, it just came out!" Kassidy protested shoving her luggage in the trunk.

"I'm so sure," Remus said with a snort. "And the comment to his dad?"

"I don't know where that came from!" Kassidy promised getting in the car. "Okay so I know where it came from but I didn't mean to say it! It's one of my problems!"

"What's wrong?" Mrs. Lupin asked confused.

"You have a very sweet son Mrs. Lupin," Kassidy said smiling sweetly at Remus who still looked unconvinced.

"He is isn't he?" Mrs. Lupin said smiling as they headed out of the parking lot.

"So," Remus said clearing his throat. This was getting a little embarrassing. "What's Houdini going to do this summer?"

"He told me he'd come and stay with me for a while, but he's gotten really attached to Hagrid so I don't know,"

"Who's that dear?" Mrs. Lupin asked looking at them in the back mirror.

"He's my horse,"

"And he talks?"

"Yes, but only to me, it's kinda hard to explain," Kassidy told her feeling really stupid. A talking horse, damn she was crazy.

"No go ahead Kassidy I want to hear this," Remus said, he had been wondering just how that happened since he never once heard Houdini say anything.

Kassidy shot him a warning look but decided it was only natural they want to know how a horse talks only to one person.

"Well, he's a descendant from a line of horses that have the gift of speech although over the generations they've become well, dumb. But I found Houdini when he was a foal and have pretty much raised him so we have this connection that allows us to be able to communicate with each other, its really weird but hey," Kassidy said with a shrug.

"Hey what?" Remus asked, it bothered him when she didn't finish her sentences.

"Nothing about me is normal,"

"Normal is just a setting on the dryer," Mrs. Lupin commented.

"Oh my god, Mrs. Lupin you are the coolest mom ever!"

Remus shook his head as he saw his mum blush. This was going surprisingly well; he only hoped it went the same when Kassidy met his dad.


	10. Sexual Orientation and Mr Lupin

"Kassidy what's wrong?" Remus asked in a low tone as she stared out the restaurant window.

"Did you know about Potter and Black?" Kassidy asked turning to face him.

"Yes," He told her. Sirius had decided to disown his family and he went to go live with the Potters, he thought he told her about that.

"You did?" Kassidy asked, her eyes nearly bulging out of her head. He KNEW they were gay?

"Of course, they are my friends,"

"…and your okay with that?" Kassidy asked.

"Yes, I'm actually glad, they get along really well so why wouldn't they?" Remus asked.

Kassidy's face contorted into an unreadable expression. "How long?"

"How long what?"

"How long have they… been like that?"

"they've talked about it for awhile but they just recently decided to actually do it,"

Kassidy made an odd noise that sounded between a snort and a gag.

"What?"

Kassidy shook her head and wriggled her shoulders. She wasn't homophobic, it was just she though they were straight, James had tried to date Lily and Sirius was always checking her out and slapping her ass whenever Remus wasn't looking.

"Did you order?" A deep voice interrupted and they looked up to see a tall dark haired man standing next to the table.

"Yeah we did," Remus said smiling. "It's nice to see you dad,"

"You too," Mr. Lupin said shaking his sons hand warmly.

"Uh, dad this is Kassidy," Remus said turning to her.

"It's nice to meet you," Kassidy said standing up and shaking his hand.

"Indeed," His father said giving Remus a hard look. He loved his son but he didn't believe that having a girlfriend with his condition was wise. "Where's your mum?"

"In the loo," Kassidy said laughing. "Sorry, I love saying that word," She apologized to Mr. Lupin.

"You're not from around here?" Mr. Lupin said sitting down across from them.

"No, I'm from Wisconsin,"

"America?"

"That's the one,"

"How do you two know each other?"

"School," Remus told his dad.

"Ahh, so you live here in England then?"

"Just a hop, skip and jump away," She told him smiling in thanks as the waiter set down their drinks.

It was silent as Mr. Lupin looked over the menu and Remus and Kassidy took a sip from their sodas.

"So, uh, what do you do Mr. Lupin?" Kassidy asked though with a strong disapproving look from Remus.

"I'm in the insurance business,"

"Oh, how's it treating you?"

Remus sank down in his seat, talking about work with his dad when he wasn't at work was a HUGE mistake.

"I actually don't talk about busniness outside of the office," Mr. Lupin snapped at her.

"Oh," Kassidy said taken back at his severe tone.

While Mr. Lupin ordered Remus and Kassidy had a quick and hushed conversation.

"Why did you ask about work?" Remus whispered.

"Because I didn't know it was such a touchy subject," She hissed back.

"Well, don't mention that, politics, religion, or football,"

"I thought you said your dad liked football?"

"Not since his teams been on a losing streak."

"Oh, so what do I say?"

"Nothing let my mum do it for you,"

They both sat up quickly as Mrs. Lupin appeared back to the table and greeted her husband.

"Have you met Kassidy yet?" Mrs. Lupin asked her husband, he grunted in response.

'What a dick,' Kassidy thought slightly narrowing her eyes at him.

"Well, I think its wonderful you've finally got a girlfriend," His mum said taking a sip of her ice tea.

"Muuum," Remus said glancing at his father noting the disapproved look on his face.

"Well she is isn't she?"

Remus nodded making Kassidy smile.

"Then what else am I supposed to call it? You don't call a rose a Daisy now do you?"

"No, I guess not," Remus said giving up.

"What year are you dear?"

"I just finished my first year,"

"First year?" Mrs. Lupin asked raising an eyebrow.

"Yeah, I-uh- got in a little late," Kassidy faltered.

"Oh, so how old are you?"

Kassidy didn't know how to answer that one.

"She'll be 17 in October," Remus told his parents quickly, Kassidy nodded with a smile.

"Oh, so you're not much older than Remus," Mrs. Lupin said smiling.

"No, not much," Kassidy said with a large smile which Remus knew to be fake. His parents however, didn't.

Lunch didn't go by fast enough for Kassidy, she swore the cooks knew she was in a hurry and slowed down for pure spite. Mrs. Lupin was pleasant enough, Mr. Lupin on the other hand was a downright bitch. He hardly said ten words to her and was always giving Remus disapproving looks.

"Hey, so I'll uh, see you later," Kassidy said pulling her trunk out of their car.

"Are you sure we cant give you a ride dear?" Mrs. Lupin asked.

"Oh no, its just right down the street," Kassidy told them. "You'll write?"

"Yeah," Remus promised.

"Good, it was nice to meet you all," Kassidy said.

"You too, stop by the house anytime you want dear," Mrs. Lupin offered.

"Thanks, bye!"

Remus waved to her as she started down the street. He knew his family wasn't what she expected, especially his dad. But Remus didn't know how to explain the way they treated him without telling Kassidy that he was a werewolf, which would not go over well.

"She seems like a very nice girl," Mrs. Lupin remarked as she drove her son home.

"She is," Remus assured. 'Unless your name is James Potter or Sirius Black,' He thought with a grin.

"You going to write her tonight?"

"MUM!" Remus groaned.

"What? A mother can't know what goes on in her son's life?"

"Fine, yes I'll write to her and I'll profess my undying love and devotion for her how's that?"

"A bit extreme," His mum commented pulling up into their driveway.

Remus shook his head and sighed. This summer looked like it was going to be very bleak. Little did he know that in fact, his summer was going to be almost more than he could handle.

A/N: So please review because I get a little discouraged when no one does.  But a special thanks to:

KRP: I don't know who you are but I love that your always leaving me a comment, it makes me feel special. I appreciate very much that you ask questions on what I'm not making clear. THANKS!

Becks: I hope your still reading this because if not I feel like I've failed as a writer. Lol.

DragonHeart2006: I know who you are. In fact, I think I eat dinner with you most days of the week. You really need to get my ass in gear about Beta Reading. THANKS FOR REVIEWING!


	11. The Stupidity of Stupid head

James laid his head back on the bathroom tile floor and tried to catch his breath. It was late at night, probably after midnight.

"I can't believe I did that," He moaned holding his stomach painfully.

A knock on the door momentarily distracted him from his misery.

"James, honey are you okay?"

"I'm fine mom," James murmured.

"Are you sure? You've been in the bathroom for a while." Mrs. Potter said through the door. She was worried, he came back from the festival with Sirius nearly carrying him before James crawled into the bathroom, and he'd been in there since.

"Yes," He groaned.

"Okay, yell if you need anything," Mrs. Potter told him before walking down the hall to her room.

James felt his stomach churn and he leaned over the toilet for what had to be the twelfth time that night. 'Why did I do that?' He thought.

"_No way," James said stopping suddenly as he spotted a not so welcoming face in the crowed. _

"_Hey!" Sirius said waving his arms at Remus and Kassidy. _

"_Don't call them over here," James hissed to his friend, but it was too late. Remus was already dragging Kassidy over. _

"_What are you guys doing here?" Sirius asked looking at Barlow who at that moment didn't look so good._

"_BLEEAAHHFFH!" Kassidy cried. _

"_Wow, I thought only dying llamas made that sound," Sirius said taken back at her reaction._

_James couldn't say anything, here he was thinking he and Sirius would just go and have a fun time at the festival, eat good food, flirt with some girls, but no, Barlow shows up. _

"_You just had to come didn't you?" James asked narrowing his eyes at her. _

"_Why did I interrupt your date?" Kassidy shot back at them. _

"_Kassidy," Remus admonished. _

"_Our what?" James and Sirius asked at the same time. _

"_Barlow, what have you been drinking?" Sirius asked eyeing the cup in her hand, it was no secret she liked her alcohol. _

"_Oh come off it already, Remus told me," Kassidy informed giving a sick look at how close their hands were to one another's. _

"_Did he now?" James asked staring at Remus as he and Sirius took a large step away from each other. _

"_Kassidy what are you talking about?" Remus asked turning to look at her clearly confused. _

"_They, them two, they're together," Kassidy reminded pointing at Black and Potter. "We went over this the first week of break," _

"_No we didn-" Remus stopped as it dawned on him. They most certainly did talk about it; he just hadn't been clear on what they were talking about. "Kassidy that's sick!" _

"_You're just NOW figuring this out Moony?" James asked incredulously. _

"_Shut up stupid head!" Kassidy demanded. _

"_NO!" James told her crossing his arms defiantly. "Not until you do," _

"_You two detention, first Thursday back in school," Remus told them sternly, THAT would get their attention. _

"_HA!" Sirius laughed. Remus knew how to entertain him._

_James and Kassidy turned on Remus. _

"_You've got to be kidding!" They said together then looked at each other with glares as Remus assured them he wasn't. _

Another knock on the door got James's attention.

"Go away mum," He pleaded.

"Have you really been puking all night?" An unfamiliar voice asked through the door.

James couldn't reply as he felt queasy again.

Another round of knocks followed, loud knocks.

"Are you still alive in there stupid head?"

Aw shit it was Kassidy.

"How did you get here?" James asked.

"Your mom let me in," Kassidy said pressing her ear up to the door. "Oh my god, you're still barfing?"

James only puked in reply. Kassidy couldn't suppress her laugh.

"Well it serves you right; I can't believe you did that!"

'Neither can I,' He thought miserably. His competitiveness amazed him, but tonight he went too far.

_The four walked around together with Kassidy and James throwing insults at each other nearly every second. _

"_Neh," Kassidy said sticking out her tongue. _

"_Mleh!" James said mimicking her._

"_ENOUGH ALREADY!" Remus almost yelled. "People are staring," _

_Sirius looked around and grinned, some people were indeed pointing and staring and whispering about them. It made the following moments all the sweeter for him._

"_Hey Barlow," James said, an idea popping in his head as he stared at the twirl-a-round._

"_What?" Kassidy asked glaring at Sirius. She wanted to go home now._

"_Whoever rides that ride the most times without throwing up gets to bestow a title on loser." James had a perfect name for her. _

_All three turned to look at what he was pointing to. _

"_Uh, Potter, I'm not riding that," Kassidy told him taking a step back to fully view the ride. _

"_Why not?" _

"_One, because I already have the perfect title for you and two, its not fair, you play Quidditch and are used to getting tossed and thrown around, I on the other hand, have limited experience with any of that so no," _

"_What would make it fair then?" _

_Kassidy got a wicked grin on her face. "You drink some of this, and then we'll call it fair," _

_James took the cup from her hand and sniffed it. Whatever it was, it was potent. "What is this?" _

"_My own little concoction," Kassidy told him. _

"_Which is?" Sirius asked as he sniffed the unknown liquid. _

"_My own special recipe," _

_James took a sip and nearly gagged. His throat was on fire. "Jez Barlow you want to kill yourself from alcohol poisoning?" _

"_I hadn't thought of that," Kassidy told him, that thought hadn't registered in her mind._

_Remus took the cup from James's hand and sniffed it then coughed at the smell. "Kassidy is this pure alcohol?" _

"_Are we going to do this or not Potter?" Kassidy asked James ignoring Remus, what Remus didn't know wouldn't hurt him. _

"_Yes," James said taking the cup back and downing it. It was a little less than half full, and if Barlow could drink that much and be okay then he could too. _

_Kassidy's gut wrenched watching him chug it. He was going to be so sick. "Potter I didn't mean the whole thing,"_

_James just shrugged. "So are you ready?" _

"_After you," Kassidy said motioning him to lead the way waiting for him to puke at any second._

_Sirius couldn't contain his laughter as James swaggered towards the entrance, the alcohol taking immediate effect._

"Potter are you alive?" Kassidy asked knocking again.

"What's wrong?" Sirius asked coming up next to her.

"I think he passed out," Kassidy said pressing her ear to the door again.

"He's really going to feel it in the morning," Sirius commented.

"Go see if they have any aspirin and get a glass of water." Kassidy told him jiggling the handle.

"Why?"

"Because he wasn't supposed to drink that much now go!"

Sirius shrugged and went downstairs in search of the aspirin.

"Hey Potter?" Kassidy asked finally getting the door open to find it was pitch black in the bathroom.

"Noo," James grumbled from where he lay on the tile floor. "go away," He pleaded.

"I will, just after I make sure you don't die," Kassidy said bending down beside him, the light from the hallway was enough for her to see that he did not look good.

"What'da mean?"

"That cup had enough alcohol for four people to get piss ass drunk and you drank half."

James just moaned.

"Here's the aspirin," Sirius said coming up the stairs and handing her the bottle and cup.

"Thank you, now Potter, take this and drink this," She said putting the two in his hands.

"I'll just throw it up later," He told her.

"That's why Black is here, he's going to make sure you keep drinking water."

"I am?" Sirius asked, he didn't remember volunteering for that.

"Yep, now I gotta run but I'm serious, you have to keep drinking water."

"No your not," James said.

"Huh?" Kassidy asked standing back up.

"Your not Sirius, he is."

"Oh my fucking god, I can't believe you just said that," Kassidy said rolling her eyes as she walked out into the hall and down the stairs. He deserved the title of stupid head.

"So…are you going to drink it?" Sirius asked after a moment.

"I cant lift the glass," James said helplessly.

Sirius sighed and bent down and helped James take a drink. 'God damn it Kassidy,' He thought as James choked and went to throw up again.

A/N: Please review, this is my final plea. Yes, I am desperate to get any nice comments about my writing.


	12. Deep Deep Down

"I hope he didn't die," Kassidy told Remus the next afternoon as she explained what happened the previous night while taking his order.

"Kassidy I think that's the nicest thing you've ever said," Remus teased folding his menu shut.

"Yeah well, only because I won't have anyone to make fun of anymore,"

"And because you're a good person, deep down,"

Kassidy raised her eyebrow. "Uh huh,"

"Deep, deep, deep down," Remus assured with a grin.

Kassidy didn't look convinced as she took away his menu. "We'll see about that,"

Remus sat back and waited for his food to come. He still couldn't believe that Kassidy was a waitress and a really bad one at that, he'd never seen anyone fumble and drop as many plates and screw up orders like she did.

But she'd had her job since last summer and the owners didn't look like they were going to fire her anytime soon.

He stared at the elderly man behind the counter as he took Kassidy's order form. Kassidy had said he was the owner, Franz Hanns. Apparently he and his wife had taken a special interest in Kassidy, making up for crappy tips and always offering to take her places.

Fortunately for Kassidy, tip shortages were rarely an issue. Remus did notice how since he'd been there she'd made over 18 pounds in tips, and it wasn't even that busy.

'Her wardrobe probably has something to do with that,' He thought ruefully as he noticed she was bending over a nearby table passing out drinks, showing off more skin than she should.

Kassidy caught his eye and stuck her tongue out at him. He was so jealous.

"Kassidy take your ten minute break already!" Someone called from the kitchen.

Kassidy grinned as she jaunted up to Remus's table setting her tray down on an empty table. "Don't judge me, I have to make money somehow and this whole, I'm a poor little cute American girl wont get me anywhere."

"So I'm guessing the words pride, dignity and modesty have no meaning to you?" Remus asked with a grin.

"If you got it, flaunt it," Kassidy disagreed before sitting on his lap. "Besides, I only give up the goods to you," She said teasingly poking his nose.

Remus blushed and looked down making Kassidy laugh. "You're so freaking cute," She said getting off his lap and sitting in the chair next to him.

Remus shrugged. She was always nice to him.

Kassidy glanced up at the door as the bell rang and immediately ducked under the table.

"Kassidy what-" Remus asked looking under the table curiously.

"SHH!" Kassidy insisted smacking his leg.

Remus looked over at the door to see the Potters and laughed, of all the restaurants in London they came to this one.

"SHUT UP!" Kassidy hissed.

"Hey Remus!" Sirius greeted and the party made their way over to them. "What are you doing here?"

"Eating," Remus replied with a grin as they sat down.

Kassidy pressed herself up against Remus as five pairs of legs set themselves under the table.

"You alright James?" Remus asked with a grin noting how pale he was.

James shot his friend a look.

"Where's our waitress?" Mr. Potter asked looking around.

"Oi Kassidy, breaks over!" Mr. Hans yelled. "Where are you?"

"Here." Kassidy grumbled coming out from under the table on her hands and knees. She didn't want to but she had to.

James's eyes went wide. What was Barlow doing here and under the table?

"Hello, My names Kassidy, I'll be your waitress this afternoon." She said getting up and taking out her pen and pad of paper out of her apron pocket, her face beet red. "What can I get you to drink?"

No one knew what to say.

"I'll have a cola," Sirius said breaking the silence leaning over to check exactly where her legs ended.

Everyone put their orders in and Kassidy went off to get them.

"So, Moony, what was Kassidy doing under the table?" Sirius asked casually but with a wicked grin.

"Sirius," Mrs. Potter said sternly.

Remus blushed at the racy suggestion but couldn't help himself. "Probably the same as what you and Annie Pye do in the broom closet."

"Remus," Mrs. Potter said in a disappointed tone. That Kassidy girl was not a good influence; that much she was sure of.

"Didn't know you could do that under a table," Sirius said scratching his chin thoughtfully.

"Sirius," Mrs. Potter said again. James grimaced at the thought of his friend and Barlow doing anything remotely close to what Sirius did with his girlfriends.

No one said anything until their food came.

"Well, uh, enjoy your meal and don't hesitate to call me if you need anything," Kassidy turned to walk off but James stopped her.

"Actually Barlow I seemed to have dropped my napkin, could you pick it up for me?"

Kassidy glared him but bent down, much to the delight of Sirius.

"Your napkin sir," She said with clenched teeth. "Pervert," She whispered to Sirius.

"Just enjoying the view that's all," He replied with a wickedly.

"Jerk," she muttered as she walked over to wipe off a table. She didn't regret putting the laxatives in his food one bit.


	13. Loser Face and Battle of the Dork Lords

Chapter 13:

A/N: As always, thanks for reading!!!

Kyle Primmer you're my hero!

DragonHeart, you know how I feel about you, you crazy genius.

Persia: I'm so happy you like it! Thanks for reviewing!

Me: Thanks for the dictionary, I needed a new one.

Summer passed faster than anyone expected, and before they all knew it, there was precious time left before they were to head back to Hogwarts. It was the last week of August, two days before school started, before Sirius and James grudgingly began to get their things together.

"I don't want to go back," James moaned coming into his friend's room and plopping down on the bed.

"Me either," Sirius assured throwing his Defense Against the Dark Arts book in his Hogwarts trunk. "Can you believe Barlow's going to be in our class?"

"Don't remind me," James said grimacing. He'd had enough of her over the summer for the rest of his life and then some.

"She just doesn't seem that smart to be able to get into 6th year," Sirius commented.

"Seem is the word Sirius," A voice said from the doorway. Sirius and James looked to see Remus. "She's really quite genius."

"What are you doing here?" Sirius asked.

"Just passing through the neighborhood," Remus said with a grin.

"What is loser face not keeping you entertained?" James asked grabbing the pillow that was at the foot of the bed and propping it behind his head.

"Actually, Kassidy's been at Lily's this week," Remus said with a sigh. Loser face was James's new name for Kassidy.

"Oh really?" James asked pretending he didn't care.

"Stop it Prongs, we all know you like her," Sirius said going through his closet to make sure he didn't leave anything, he couldn't remember where he put his blue striped shirt Annie gave to him.

"I have a girlfriend Sirius, as do you," James reminded.

"Seems weird," Remus said joining James on the bed. "Its sixth year already,"

"I know," James agreed. "Feels like the other day when Sirius came barging into our compartment,"

"I did not barge," Sirius disagreed rummaging through his dresser drawers.

James and Remus gave him a look.

"I was merely in a hurry,"

James snorted. "To get away from Glenda Hallow,"

"She was kind of scary," Remus said reflecting on the girl.

"Kind of? She could've scared Peeves if he paid any attention!"

The three boys laughed together.

Across London Kassidy and Lily were having anything but fun as they prepared for their trip back to Hogwarts.

"It-wont-close!" Lily said putting her weight on the trunk lid trying to close it.

"That's because you have no ass," Kassidy remarked looking at her with a smirk.

"That's because you have more than enough for the both of us," Lily retorted pressing all her weight on the lid beginning to jump on it. "Why-wont-it-close?"

"You're supposed to say burn after you insult someone," Kassidy reminded flipping the page of her magazine. "Aren't these pretty shoes?"

Lily just glared at her. Now was not the time, although they were quite pretty.

"Hold on, I'll help," Kassidy said throwing down her magazine and joining her. "On the count of three we're going to jump,"

Lily nodded. "One, two, three!"

The two girls put all their weight on the trunk.

"Holy shit what do you have in here?" Kassidy asked as it wouldn't close.

"Stuff," Lily said reluctantly getting up as Kassidy went through her trunk.

"What do you need this for?" Kassidy asked pulling out a cricket mallet.

"For Potter," Lily replied.

"Okay, we'll keep this," Kassidy said setting it next to the trunk before pulling out a handful of clothes. "This is mine," She said taking her plaid mini and throwing it near her trunk. "Mine, mine, MINE," She said seeing her rhinestone jacket.

"But it looks better on me," Lily said watching as it was tossed toward the growing mound of clothes in front of Kassidy's trunk.

"That may be true but do not touch my rhinestones,"

Lily rolled her eyes. "That's my leather jacket."

"No its not, I lent it to you the beginning of summer,"

"Because I let you borrow it last fall," Lily reminded grabbing the jacket out of her friend's hand.

"Oh yea," Kassidy said before replacing the mallet. "I think it'll shut now,"

Kassidy sat on it while Lily worked on locking it.

"Two days," Kassidy said whistfully.

"ERG!" Lily said standing up and pulling at her ponytail. "The last thing I want is to be plagued by Potter for the next 9 months."

"Oh Lily, how can you stress when you have a georgeous boyfriend waiting to kiss you,"

Kassidy asked as the two settled on the floor amongst their magazines.

"You think he's goegous?" Lily asked ripping out a page with a dress she liked.

"Well DUH!" Kassidy said rolling her eyes. "He's only got that hott Scottish accent and tall muscular built body with bright blue eyes, and his hair! Oh his soft perfect brown hair, I want to run my hands through it all day…."

Lily stared at her friend. Archie was hott, and he was hers as Kassidy put it, all hers. "You do run your hands through it all the time,"

"Only because you neglect to do so," Kassidy defended turning the page. "Oh my god!"

"What?" Lily asked leaning over to see what her friend was freaking out about. More than likely it was nothing but she still wanted to know.

"They actually have a model that's a size 4! The sky is falling the sky is falling!" Kassidy cried out putting her hands over her head.

"You're such a dork," Lily remarked rolling her eyes.

"Dork lord," Kassidy said picking up another magazine. "I am thee dork lord…hey! That'd be a funny parody to Volde-"

"Don't say his name!" Lily hissed throwing her magazine at her.

"Aww, you just wrinkled Madonna's face."

"How can you make fun of You-Know-Who like that?" Lily asked. Kassidy was always ripping jokes about him and Lily wanted to know how she could do that without any fear.

"I just do, evil people trying to take over the world is so old to me. I'm beginning to feel sorry for the comic book characters, always facing the same villain just a newer dumber name. What kind of a name is Voldemort anyway?"

Lily shrieked at hearing his name and smacked Kassidy's arm. "Stop saying his name!"

"Fine, I promise I wont say his name for the rest of the night," Kassidy said relcuctantly.

They both went back to ripping out their magazines. Kassidy gave a soft chuckle. "The dork lord,"

Lily pulled her pillow off her bed and smacked Kassidy in the head.

"Dork lords unite!" Kassidy said above her laughter pulling off the other pillow and smacking Lily. The fight was on.

A/N: Will Sirius find his blue striped shirt? Will Remus ever get his friends to stop bickering? And who will win the pillow fight? Find out on another completely random and unexplainable chapter of (dun dunn dunnnhhh!) To Be Normal!!!


	14. Sirius Pervert Rot in Hell

Chapter 14: Sirius Pervert Rot in Hell

The Lost Tear: You are so nice and brilliant! I loved your comment so I turned it into a chapter title. Thanks!!!

"Bye!" Kassidy said giving each of Lily's parents a hug before she stepped up onto the train. She turned back just in time to see Mrs. Potter wiping lipstick of Sirius's cheek. She couldn't help herself but snort.

"What?" Lily asked turning around to see who she was mocking. Kassidy pointed to Sirius. Lily did her best not to laugh too loud.

"Shut up Barlow," Sirius warned stepping up behind her.

"Aww, widdle Blackie needs his mommie-"

Sirius shoved her forward. "You're blocking the line,"

"ABUSE!" Kassidy cried out as she slammed into Lily who fell on the floor.

"Wow, look at that James, giant dominos with boobs," Sirius commented tilting his head to get a better look.

"Sirius! Pervert! Rot in hell!" Kassidy shouted seeing him looking as she struggled to get up.

"Yeah!" Lily added getting up and dusting her knees off. "I didn't even do anything!"

"Did she just call you by your first name?" James asked his friend shocked.

"I believe she did, but I don't think it was in a good way,"

"What did you do now?" Remus asked with a heavy sigh from behind him. They had just stepped onto the Hogwarts express and already Kassidy was telling Sirius to do mean things to himself.

"Still, it's an improvement," Sirius said with a shrug as they got up and moved down the hall.

Remus looked back at Peter who had the same expression. "Here we go again," Peter mumbled as the four sat down together in a compartment.

"Hey Archie," Kassidy greeted as the 6th year Ravenclaw joined them.

Archie gave her a wave before he settled down to Lily.

"Did you have a good summer?" Lily asked him as he put his arm around her.

"Could've been better," He said with a shrug. "You?"

"Same," Lily said before they sat in a silence.

Kassidy looked at them both back and forth for a minute. "Okay," She said sensing the awkwardness of the situation. "I'm going to go and leave you two alone,"

Lily and Archie gave Kassidy a bright smile as she got up.

"But remember," Kassidy said turning back to them. "These are glass," She said tapping on the compartment window. "So keep it PG."

Lily threw her empty drink can at her as Kassidy shut the compartment door.

James, Sirius, Remus and Peter sat in a compartment talking about their summer. Surprisingly, Peter's summer was better than all their's combined.

"Hey can I join you guys?" Kassidy asked opening the door.

"Why?" James asked.

"Because Lily and Archie are currently making up for the entire summer vacation spent apart," Kassidy said shaking her head.

"You poor thing," Remus said a she sat down next to him.

"Feeling left out?" Sirius asked with a wicked grin.

"Just because you haven't gotten laid in the past few weeks doesn't entitle you to take it out on me," Kassidy said glaring at him. Sirius had probably seen more of her than Remus had.

"And just because your going through that special time of the month doesn't allow you to become a complete bitch," Sirius replied with a smile.

"She's a bitch all the time," James reminded.

"Hey!" Kassidy and Remus objected together.

"I am not a bitch all the time," Kassidy said frowning. "Who was it that checked to make sure you didn't die?"

"Who got me drunk?" James asked.

"You did," Remus reminded James.

James glared at his friend.

"Yea and who put laxatives in my food?" Sirius asked folding his arms across his chest.

"You were being a pervert!"

"You were tempting me!"

"Hey that's my girlfriend!" Remus said offended.

"Well, sorry Moony but your girlfriend dresses kinda slutty," Sirius said.

"Excuse me?" Kassidy asked more amused than actually offended.

"You're excused," James said with a smile.

"Shut up stupid head,"

"You first loser face,"

Kassidy stared at James for a moment. "Wow, Potter, not bad,"

"Thank you," He said smiling. "I knew your own special title would make you feel better,"

"You know Potter, in your own sick little way, that could potentially be the sweetest thing you've ever done for me,"

"He opened that door for you, last year," Peter reminded.

"Yea only because he knew Peeves was on the other end pelting people with stuff," Kassidy said rolling her eyes. "I got bruises from that too,"

"And that makes me feel better," Sirius said with a contented sigh. "Ah, the good old days,"

"Wow, I think I've been a very bad influence on you lot." Kassidy admitted.

"Don't worry," Remus said shaking his head. "They've been a lost cause for quite some time."

Kassidy smirked and pointed at James. "Lost cause!"

"Haha. Slut!" James said pointing right back at her.

"Back to your corners!" Remus demanded pointing at each of them and motioning to sit back.

"Yes daddy," They both mumbled slumping into their seats and folding their arms. Getting told to calm down by Remus was always a little unnerving, mostly because he rarely did it.

"Now that's disturbing," Sirius commented to Peter who nodded in agreement.

A/N: Well there it is. The 13th chapter. I'm soo happy people are reviewing! You guys are making my day!


	15. Bacon Bits, Muzzles and Oranges oh my!

Chapter 15: Battle of the Bacon

A/N: THANK YOU TO EVERYONE for continuing to read this. I apologize for the late update it's just to hard to keep up with everything! Grr! I'll post as soon as my muse comes back from her martini binge. Thanks again!

Kassidy skipped down the hall to breakfast the next morning to see James and Sirius sitting down at their house table talking.

"Hey guys," She greeted sitting down across from James. "Where's Remus?"

James stared at her. Where did she get off being so flippant? Did she forget already about last night?

"He and Peter are running late." Sirius told her shoving eggs in his mouth.

"Hm," Was all she said scanning the table looking to see what was appealing. "Bacon sounds good,"

James couldn't help himself and before he could even tell himself no he had picked up a fistful of bacon and flung it at Kassidy.

She froze as the hot greasy strips contacted with her body.

"What was that?" Sirius asked his friend as she sat there in shock.

"I baconed her," James said carefully looking over to see if any of the staff had noticed. Surprisingly no one had.

Sirius studied Kassidy for a moment before shaking his head. "Prongs I really don't know where you get off doing something like that,"

Kassidy raised an eyebrow at him. Was he standing up for her?

Sirius picked up his bacon and set it on her head. "I mean really, if your going to do it do it, don't do a half ass job."

Kassidy winced. Nope, he was just being a dumbass.

"Umm, Sirius, James why is Kassidy covered in bacon?" Remus asked coming up with Peter and sitting down next to her.

"We baconed her,"

"Uh, huh, Kassidy would you like me to get you a fork?" Remus asked picking a piece off the bridge of her nose and putting it in his mouth.

"Ew, gross Moony," James objected screwing up his face.

"James, he sticks his tongue down her throat, I doubt he minds," Sirius said rolling his eyes and fixing his attention back on his eggs.

Kassidy could only sit there and glare at them.

"Hey Kassidy," Sirius said grabbing a biscuit. "Whose your daddy?"

"SIRIUS!" All four of them yelled throwing objects of food at him.

Sirius tried to block the oncoming food but fell off the bench and onto the floor.

"Now is it just me, or was everyone else expecting that to be a little more graceful?" Kassidy asked picking a piece off her head and munching on it.

"Mr. Black," Professor McGonagall said coming down to them. "Get off the floor immediately,"

"I fell," He told her getting up.

"Well than perhaps I can accommodate you with a high chair?"

"No, but if you could get Barlow a muzzle that'd be great,"

"Miss Barlow what are you doing at the Gryffendor table?"

"Eating," Kassidy replied picking off another piece from her robes and sticking it in her mouth.

"I suggest you go and eat at your house table."

"Why? Aren't we supposed to be a united school? You know what they say about being divided."

"No I can say I don't,"

"You mean I know something you don't know? Wow, I am old..." Kassidy said shaking her head, scattering bacon on the floor. "United we stand, divided we fall, hey I think that's an American quote,"

"Yes, good, hooray for you, now will you please go to your table?" James asked.

"James, you're just sore about last night," Remus said with a sigh.

"You'd better believe I am!"

"And what happened last night?" Professor McGonagall asked looking at Barlow curiously.

"I just played a trick on them that's all," Kassidy said taking a muffin off Sirius's plate. "You see…"

"_I don't think anybody has ever pissed me off like those two can," Kassidy hissed to her fellow Slytherin friend Deborah pointing to Sirius and James who were sitting anxiously in their seats as the sorting continued. _

"_So do something about it," Deborah hissed back._

"_Like what?" Kassidy whispered as thoughts began swirling in her head. _

"_The way to a man's heart is through his stomach," Deborah reminded with a grin. _

"_Oh you're so cruel," Kassidy said. "I love it!" _

_Sirius began strumming his fingers on the table in anticipation of the upcoming feast. He was so hungry. _

"_Is it just me or is this sorting the longest one we've had?" James muttered tapping his feet on the floor. His stomach had been making funny noises for the past twenty minutes. _

"_I told you to eat," Remus reminded James shaking his head. _

"_And I'm still going to tell you I wouldn't be alive right now if I had taken the sandwhich from Barlow," James said although wishing he had taken at least a little. _

"_I ate some and I'm fine," Remus said rolling his eyes. _

"_Yeah well she actually likes you!" James retorted. _

"_James, its coming!" Sirius said excitedly as Dumbledore stood up. _

_James sat up in his seat and stared at the table in front of him knowing there were only precious moments before food beyond his imagination would appear. _

"_HOORAY!" Sirius shouted as his plate appeared before him. _

_James nearly cried as he stabbed his fork down into the chicken only for the plate to move and him getting a chunk of the table instead. _

"_What the?" Sirius asked as the same happened to him. Sirius and James looked at each other before trying to grab the food again, once again the plates moving away from them. _

_Remus and Peter watched in amusement as Sirius and James tried for the next ten minutes to get their food. _

"_This isn't happening," James said dejectedly._

_Kassidy snickered from behind him giving Remus and Peter a wink. Remus sighed and Peter shook his head. They were at it once again. _

"_Okay Sirius, on the count of three." James said setting his hands in his lap, Sirius followed. _

"_Um, I really wouldn't do that," Remus warned giving Kassidy a look. Kassidy ignored him and waited as they counted. _

"_Once, two, THREE!" They counted together diving their head wildly towards the plates which moved much to Remus's dismay and Kassidy's delight. The two both gave moans as their heads lay on the table throbbing. _

_Kassidy began giggling madly along with Deborah. "Heheheehehee, oh my god, you should see your faces!" She laughed clapping her hands in happiness. _

"_I hate you," James groaned from where he sat head on the table. _

"_Me too," Sirius grumbled. _

"So you see Professor, they had it coming," Kassidy finished.

Professor McGonagall didn't know exactly what to say. "Well, that was some decent magic Miss Barlow,"

"WHAT?!" Sirius and James exclaimed at the same time. She was being PRAISED for tormenting them?

"But I expect you for detention with me on Thursday evening."

James and Sirius sank back into their seats with smug grins on their faces.

"Along with the two of you," McGonagall assured before walking off on her way.

Kassidy turned and stuck her tongue out at them before munching on her stolen muffin.

"I don't believe this," James said in amazement.

"Well, I gotta go get ready for class," Kassidy said. "Kiss kiss," She told Remus teasingly.

"I expect to be paid in full later," He responded stuffing an orange in her robe pocket.

"Always watching out for me," She said rolling her eyes.

"Someone's got to," He told her waving her a goodbye.

"Someone give me a barf bucket," Sirius said pretending to gag.

"See you guys later," Kassidy said cheerfully as she got up from the table scattering bacon on the floor. "It was them," She told the staff who were looking strangely at her pointing at Sirius and James who slumped down in their seats.

Dumbledore just smiled and waved her along. The friendship that the five of them had was one of extraordinary limits and he would now as he had watched it closely from the very beginning. From the moment he had laid eyes on Kassidy he knew that she would give them all a run for their money or in James and Sirius's case, their wands.


	16. No, MY book!

Chapter 16:

"Miss Susie had a steamboat the steamboat had a bell, ding ding," Kassidy sang skipping down the corridor waving to staring first years as she passed. "Miss Susie went to heaven the steamboat went to hell-" She carried on the note.

A ghost looked up at her curiously.

"eeelloooo, operator, give me number nine, and if you disconnect me I'll chop off your behind-" Kassidy continued as Remus joined her side. Who looked at her oddly. He'd never heard her sing this song. And she normally started everyday Monday with a song.

"The refrigerator sat a piece of glass, Miss Susie sat upon it and broke her little ass-k me no more questions, I'll tell you no more lies, Miss Susie and her boyfriend are kissing in the d-a-r-k, d-a-r-k, dark dark darker than the ocean-"

"Dear god does this song have an ending?" Sirius groaned to James.

"Considering its Barlow and she never shuts her bloody mouth I'm guessing no,"

"deeper than the sea, darker than the underwear my mommie put on me!" Kassidy sang.

All four boys sighed in relief as she didn't continue.

"I know I know my ma, I know I know I pa, I know I know my sister with the 40 acre bra!" Kassidy belted suddenly.

Remus watched in astonishment as she ended in a tap flourish singing. "Shave and a hair cut, twoooo biiiits!"

Sirius, James and Peter without hesitation reached in their bags and pulled out the first objects that were in their reach before they chucked it at her. Sirius gleefully pulled out his DADA book and threw it at her head.

Kassidy was fortunately able to dodge the book but was subjected to everything else that was thrown her way.

Remus didn't even bat an eyelash as he continued to walk on by; he was not going to be late to class just because his friends wanted to have a go at his girlfriend. Kassidy had dug her own grave. Now she was covered in blue, black and green ink plus the markings that the quills left behind.

"I've been inked, quilled, booked! Wait, booked?" Kassidy asked looking behind her at the Defense against the dark arts book.

"My book!" Sirius said realizing what he did as she picked it up.

Kassidy glanced at it talking to herself. "What an odd string of luck this is, I forgot mine over at the

"MY BOOK!" Sirius shouted staring after her.

"Well go get it dumbass!" James said laughing.

Sirius took off after her.

It was a mad race to the classroom. Kassidy won.

Sirius was fuming as he walked into the classroom ready to kick some serious Barlow ass. He had to miss making out with his girlfriend for the first time in over two weeks in order to make sure Barlow didn't kill his book.

"That's it Barlow, I'm going to hex your sorry arse into the next millennium!" Sirius shouted coming into the classroom, wand drawn, only to find class had already started.

Everyone turned in their seats and stared. James had a grin almost as big as Kassidy.

The professor standing in the front room cleared her throat. "Mister Black I presume?"

Sirius couldn't speak and so squeaked a yes.

Some students snickered.

"You will be sitting next to Miss Barlow here," She said airily waving her hand where Kassidy was sitting.

A look of horror and disgust passed over both their faces.

"WHAT?!" They both shrieked at the same time.

"I refuse for my class to be continually interrupted!" The professor yelled. "Now, Mister Black, please take your seat."

Sirius walked dejectedly over to his chair, pulled it as far as he could away from Kassidy before sitting down.

"Now Mister Black, please take out your book and turn to the introduction."

"I don't have my book," He told her looking pointedly at Kassidy noting with a scowl the absolute glee on her face.

"Really Mister Black, I don't see the purpose of you coming to my class at all if you're going to show up late without your book." She sighed exasperated. "Alright, Miss Barlow would you please share your book with Mister Black?"

"My book, MY book." Sirius thought with a frown.

"I suppose," Kassidy said with a shrug. Althought in her head she was singing the hallelujah chorus at the look of absolute loathing.

Sirius reluctantly scooted his chair closer to her and stared at the page, his rage nearly uncontainable as the Professor began speaking again.

"I'm going to get you back for this Barlow," Sirius seethed in her ear.

"Ooo, talking dirty now are we?" Kassidy whispered back totally unconcerned.

Sirius's stare almost made her nervous. Almost.

It was several minutes before he turned and started listening to the professor.

Kassidy chuckled in victory. But little did she know what plans Sirius had playing through his head. Plans that would, if she knew he thought that way, would make her uneasy.

"Bitch, bitch, bitch, bicth, bloody fucking bitch!" Sirius seethed as they walked out of the classroom.

"You wouldn't happen to be talking about me now are you?" Kassidy asked linking arms with Remus who shook his head. "Oh, thanks for letting me borrow this," She said handing Sirius back his book.

"Honestly Kassidy," Remus said giving her a hard look. "You cannot, I repeat, CANNOT ever do anything like that again."

"What? He threw it at me so it was fairgame!"

"NO, it wasn't," James interrupted rolling his eyes.

"Yes it was," Kassidy argued.

"No,"

"Yes,"

"No,"

"Yes,"

"No,"

"Yes,"

"No,"

"YES!"

"MEH!"

"MLEH"

James and Kassidy stuck their tongues out at one another while everyone just stared.

"I have defiantly dropped at least 7 IQ points," Remus said as they walked into the Great Hall for lunch.

"But you still like me," Kassidy said smiling sweetly at him.

"Mooney, I honestly believe you don't have a brain. How else would you even stand her?" James asked as they sat at their tables.

Remus shrugged. Sometimes he wondered that himself.

Sirius was oddly quiet as he stared at the food on the table. Looking from Kassidy to the food, and back to Kassidy.

"Sirius," Peter said in a "don't you dare" tone.

Sirius stood up, with a few potatoes in hand, walked up behind Kassidy and smashed them in her face.

Kassidy was shocked at the ballsiness of the move and sat whipping the starch out of her eyes. "What the fuck?"

"Tatered." Sirius said with a shrug. "I have tatered you."

Remus's mouth was hanging open in disbelief.

"Well, that's one way to do it." James said as Kassidy whipped the now mashed potatoes off her face.

"Mister Black what has just happened?" Professor Regelt asked coming up to them stunned.

"I'll tell you, that stupid fucking piece of shit for a human being just tatored me!" Kassidy screamed getting frustrated at the lack of intelligence of the question.

"Detention, tonight." Professor Dumbledore said appearing behind Professor Regelt.

"Totally worth it," Sirius assured sitting back down.

"Together," Dumbledore continued. "see me at eight o'clock, and don't be late."

He gave Remus a knowing wink as he walked down towards the staff table. "And, might I add Sirius, excellent potatoes, shame for them to be used in such a barbaric manner."

"Kassidy what's wrong?" Lily asked after a moment of stunned silence turning to her as Kassidy looked as though she was going to cry.

"I've been violated by verbs that don't even exist," Kassidy sobbed quickly getting up from the table and walking out of the hall, trying to keep her dignity.

"You're an insensitive ass," Lily told Remus glaring at him.

"-what?" Remus asked wondering why of all the people he was sitting with he was the one getting beaten down.

"You're her fellow and you're not even going after her,"

"Well, she's psychotic," James told her trying to defend Remus's sane decision.

"Don't you start in on it you worthless minded baboon," Lily warned raising her fork at him.

James leaned back in surprise at the reaction as did all others close to her.

Lily just gave them a disgusted look before getting up and following Kassidy.

"Bloody hell," Peter squeaked.

Everyone just nodded their head in agreement.

"Sirius, just promise me one thing," Remus said after a second.

"What?"

"No more inventing ways of torturing my girlfriend."


	17. Seriously Sirius!

Chapter 17:

Kassidy stood waiting impatiently in front of the gargoyles that led up to Dumbledore's office. It was 7:50.

She couldn't believe Remus hadn't even looked at her when they were doing their homework out in the courtyard. He must have still been upset about her taking Sirius's book. But why would he? He knew the way they treated her and despite the egging of the dormitory the previous year, he really did nothing about it.

Kassidy sighed and leaned up against the wall thinking about the previous Christmas when they first got together…

"_It's never going to work," Kassidy told Potter as he hung the green plant from the doorway as she played with a piece that he didn't use. "Lily will just as soon kick you as kiss you,"_

_Sirius snorted at her logic, mostly because it was true._

"_That just shows what you know Barlow," James said stepping down from the ladder he was using. "She can't deny me for much longer._

"_Actually that just shows how desperate you are," Kassidy replied watching as he scrambled to put the ladder away but stopping to give her a glare. Remus and Sirius couldn't help but snicker._

"_What are you doing here anyway Barlow; shouldn't you and Snivellus be planning your world domination?" James asked glaring at his friends._

"_No, we figured that out yesterday so I thought I'd come and watch you stooges,"_

_Remus stared at Kassidy admirably. She never let what James said bother her in the least, which is more than anyone else could say, James nearly ruled the school but Kassidy always managed to knock him off his pedestal, which he desperately needed someone to do every now and again._

"_Okay, Peter I need you to go get Lily now, tell her I want to talk to her," James said to Peter._

"_She'll never come that way, tell her that James and Sirius are fighting and Sirius has James in a headlock and is beating the crap out of him," Kassidy suggested to Peter._

"_HEY!" James protested._

"_Actually I rather like the idea," Sirius said with a grin._

"_Fine.. yeah, tell her that," James told Peter giving up, especially since Sirius agreed. "Traitor." James mumbled._

_It took a few minutes for Lily to come, giving Kassidy plenty of time to put a serious expression on her face as Lily came into view._

"_Peter told me that Sirius and James were fighting," Lily said looking around anxiously._

"_Actually," James said coming up next to her. "That was a lie, and now you have to kiss me,"_

"_I knew it was too good to be true," Lily said with a sigh. "And I most certainly will not do any such thing,"_

_James grinned and pointed up, Lily looked up and frowned._

"_Now you have to kiss me, rules are rules,"_

"_I'd just as soon kiss Kassidy!" Lily shot hotly getting Sirius's attention. _

"_I could go for that." He said honestly. _

_James was flustered. "I'm sorry I didn't know that you were into that but…" He said straightening up. "Let's have it now,"_

_Kassidy wasn't sure how, but she must have missed something as the next thing she knew she was lying on the floor with Remus sitting next to her._

"_You alright?" He asked anxiously._

_Kassidy stared at him dazed. "What the hell just happened?"_

"_Oh my god I'm so sorry Kassidy!" Lily said rushing over to her friend putting her wand away. "The jinx was meant for Potter, not you!"_

_Kassidy grinned up at Remus as her head began to clear; she realized just how close he was._

"_Kassidy, are you okay?" Remus asked confused at her reaction and then it dawned on him why. He was so stupid._

_Kassidy picked up the mistletoe that was lying next to her and hung it over their heads._

"_Merry Christmas to me," She said laughing as he leaned in to kiss her._

Kassidy looked down at her watch to see it was 7:58.

Sirius shortly came into view with Annie Pye holding his hand.

"Two minutes," Sirius said with a sigh looking at Annie's watch. "Whatever shall we do?"

Kassidy gave a sigh of disgust as Sirius and Annie began to make out in the hallway. She despised Black to his very core.

She instead began to amuse herself by making gagging noises complete with the "ew's" and "gross" every ten seconds.

"Are you trying to really make me puke?" Kassidy asked them after a moment.

"Honestly Barlow, we're trying to help you lose some of that weight you put on over the summer," Sirius told her breaking away for a moment.

Kassidy's jaw dropped. "Yea that's why you were hitting on me, trying to feel up my skirt, put your arms around me."

"Oh really?" Annie asked frowning at Sirius.

"She's lying," Sirius said.

"Really? Can I slip you some veriterserum there pervert?" Kassidy asked folding her arms.

"You're such a jerk!" Annie said slapping him in the face before storming off.

Kassidy couldn't contain her laughter.

"Barlow I'm going to-"

"I thought I heard your dulcet voices," Dumbledore said coming down the stairs. "Looks as though I came at a very good time," He said observing Sirius's wand in his hand.

Kassidy grinned at Sirius as he grudgingly put it away.

"Now, would you follow me please," Dumbledore said leading the way down the hall.

Kassidy and Sirius had no choice but to follow.


	18. Barlow's got brains?

Chapter 18:

The next three days passed without anything going on between the Mauraders and Kassidy leading the school to believe that a showdown was about to happen.

Kassidy and Sirius didn't even look at each other, James didn't even mention her name, Peter couldn't even stutter Kassidy a hello and Remus refused to hold her hand.

"You're being such a bitch!" Kassidy told him Thursday afternoon after he again declined taking her hand. "I will not have Black talk to me like that without reltaliation, just because you don't have the guts to stand up for yourself doesn't mean others don't!"

Remus stared at her as others passing by stopped to listen.

"And I'm tired of you punishing me for not taking your friends shit like you do; I'm an American, damn it, and we don't take shit from nobody!"

"Whoohoo!"

"Amen sister!" Came a few cheers from the people gathered around.

Kassidy crossed her arms across her chest daring Remus to argue.

Remus couldn't help himself and began to laugh.

"What?" Kassidy asked narrowing her eyes.

Remus doubled over holding his stomach.

"Bloody hell Barlow, are you so mentally instable that you cast a laughing charm on your boyfriend?" James asked.

Kassidy didn't even look at him as tears began to flow out of Remus's eyes.

"Remus John Lupin what the hell is so funny?!" Kassidy demanded to know stomping her foot in frustration.

Sirius leaned over to James. "Is there a full moon coming up soon?"

"Not for another week," James whispered back.

"Then what's his issue?" Sirius wondered aloud.

"Probably laughing because he realized how stupid he is for being in a relationship with Barlow," Peter suggested.

James and Sirius looked at their friend with awe and Sirius swung his arm around him.

"I knew we would rub off on you," Sirius said ruffling his hair. Peter looked elated.

"Remus stop!" Kassidy said getting down and helping him.

Remus slowly calmed down but still had a smile on his face.

"What has gotten into you?"

"You," He told her taking her hand and squeezing it.

"Somebody give me bag so I can puke in it!" James said shaking his head.

Kassidy smiled but narrowed her eyes. "Don't do that," She told him as they began to walk down the hallway together. "It freaks me out,"

James, Sirius and Peter all watched them go.

"Does anybody else notice how nothing ever gets resolves between them the just keep going?" James asked. "That's going to blow up in their faces,"

Sirius looked at his fiend. "Kassidy doesn't give you enough credit,"

"Why thank you Padfoot," James said with a mock bow.

Later that evening Kassidy and Remus stood outside Professor McGonagall's room.

"Just go in there already and get it over with," Remus said poking her arm.

"You go in there and get it over with!" Kassidy hissed grabbing his finger.

"I'm not the one that decided to make Sirius and James eat the table," Remus told her shaking his head.

"You have to admit that was fucking hilarious," Kassidy said giggling.

"No, that was cruel and very wrong of you to do," Remus admonished.

Kassidy made a pouty face.

"Hey, you put big lips Liana away," Remus told her poking her cheeks.

Kassidy blew a raspberry at him before poking her head in the room.

"Nobody's in there,"

"Well that could be because it's only 8 o'clock and we know how Sirius and James like to make a grand entrance."

"Their both such divas," She told him looking at her watch. She didn't care what anyone said, she swore they were both gay as choirboys.

Remus frowned at her profanity but shrugged. She wasn't going to change.

It wasn't long before Sirius and James came into view.

"I'll be off then," Remus said. "Homework,"

"Don't forget to do ours," James told Remus.

"James, I have never and will never do your homework," Remus reminded for what had to be the hundredth time since he met him.

"It was worth a try," James said giving his friend a cheeky smile.

Kassidy, James and Sirius all glared at one another.

"I thought it might displease you to know that your evil scheme didn't work," Sirius told her as they walked into the classroom.

"Which one?" She asked curiously.

James looked back at Remus who just smiled and shrugged before heading off to the library.

"Breaking me and Annie up," Sirius reminded.

"Oh, you got back together? Congratulations, what did you knock her up or something?" Kassidy asked taking a seat.

Sirius raised an eyebrow at her and sat on one of the desks. "No,"

"Awe, poor thing, she really just must be desperate then," Kassidy said clicking her tongue.

"BICTH!" James shouted before he could control himself.

"That will be enough Mr. Potter,"

"Did you hear what Barlow said?"

"No, maybe because Miss Barlow has enough brains to know not to shout profanity,"

"Barlow?" James asked confused. "That Barlow?"

Kassidy snickered at the look on Potter's face.

"Now, after an incident that I hope will not be repeated, we will spend the evening finding the good and kindness in one another."

"Excuse me?" Kassidy asked.

"Your excused," Professor McGonagall told her between tight lips.

"Barlow has kindness in her heart?" James asked. "That'll take more than 2 hours to find,"

"Mister Potter," She said making James jump at her tone. "Would you start please,"

James sat there in his chair glaring at Barlow for almost an hour before he spoke. "Barlow's great person when she can shut her mouth,"

Sirius grinned.

"Potter makes a very entertaining drunk," Kassidy said after a few moments.

"Barlow would be a great stripper," Sirius quipped. Kassidy didn't appreciate how fast he came up with that one.

"Black is the perfect poster child for dumbass's around the globe."

"Barlow can scream out more profanities than a Death Eater," James said.

"Potter's hair fits in perfectly with his big head,"

"Barlow's ass reminds me of jello," Sirius said absentmindedly. And boy did he love his jello, the raspberry and lime dish Mrs. Potter made was so good…

"Black you are a self righteous son of bitch!" Kassidy stood up and screamed.

"Barlow you dress like a whore!" Sirius yelled standing up as well.

"Potter you are the most conceited bastard I've ever met!"

"Barlow you'll overthrow You-Know-Who and take his place!" James told her also standing.

"Albus, do you think we should do anything?" Professor McGonagall asked as Professor Dumbledore came in.

"No Minerva, let them get it out of their systems."

"Then prepare to be here for awhile," Remus said sitting down in an empty desk.

"Mister Lupin what are you doing here?" Professor McGonagall asked.

"I'm done with homework so I thought I would come see the show,"

Dumbledore said nothing but he paid close attention to the three as they hollered the most insulting words at one another.

"You are JUST AS BAD as a Death Eater!" Kassidy screamed at James.

"You would know," James bellowed back. "you ARE a Death Eater!"

Remus felt his eyelids began to droop as the screaming match continued and he rested his head on the table.

"I believe you've all said enough for one evening," Dumbledore said as their voiced became raspy.

James and Kassidy had both opened their mouths but clamped them shut; both obviously having more to say.

"I believe its time to call it a night, or should I say morning," Dumbledore continued looking outside the window. It was nearly half past one.

Kassidy yawned and stretched before she made her way over to Remus who was dead asleep on the table.

"Hey," She whispered bending down and kissing his cheek. "Wake up,"

Remus just mumbled something and turned his head.

Kassidy poked his arm. "Its time to go to bed,"

"I am in bed," He muttered swatting at her hand.

Kassidy sighed and slowly got him to his feet. Remus was vaguely aware of being led around places, being told to step here and turn this way or that way and that he really should open his eyes.

It wasn't until he felt himself being slowly let down into the soft mattress that he knew he was back in his dormitory.

Kassidy took off his shoes as Sirius and James crawled into their own beds and pulled the curtains shut.

"Night Remus," She said softly pulling the covers over him and kissing his forehead.

"Nih Kasdy," He mumbled as she drew the curtains shut around him and went to her common room. He didn't care what his friends said; Kassidy was a kind hearted person, deep down. Deep, deep, deep, deep, deep down.

As soon as Kassidy left the room Sirius drew his curtains back as did James.

"Best detention ever," James said his eyes gleaming.

"Defiantly looking forward to another one," Sirius said with a grin.

Little did they know that in fact, that would be the first of what would become many evenings forced to be spent with Barlow.


	19. Detention Anyone?

A/N: I would just like to say that I do not own any of these characters, not even Kassidy. Nor do I oppose or dislike the gay community; that is just for humor. Yes, I am a demented person. Review?

Chapter 19: Detention anyone?

Lily sat in Defense Against the Dark Arts right before Christmas Break was about to start. She knew Professor Tinsley was talking about important things she should be taking notes on but Kassidy and Sirius were much more entertaining to watch.

Lily sat right behind them and therefore was able to see and hear everything that went on, she sometimes had to cast a silencing charm on herself to keep from laughing and risk getting a detention.

"Black you're just jealous of my mad learning skills," Kassidy told him looking smug that she had answered a question right.

"If that was true why haven't you learned to shut up?" He hissed.

Mister Black, Miss Barlow if you continue talking in class I will issue you both ANOTHER detention," Professor Tinsley said giving them both glares.

Lily sniggered. They had already had been issued a detention by Professor Slughorn along with Potter for hexing each other in the hall earlier this morning.

Sirius yawned and Kassidy shrugged at the looming threat. Detentions were no big deal. Lily had noticed that they've had at least one every week since the term started but nothing seemed to deter them and they seemed to believe a detention was worth the insult or injury they inflicted on the other.

James didn't nearly get as many as Sirius but managed to see Filch enough times to where it was an unpleasant experience. Mostly because of Kassidy's tendency to be able to not get caught fighting and swearing in the hall, which was remarkable since that seemed to be all she did to Sirius and James.

"Bet you 8 knuts that Sirius gets detention in the next 2 minutes," Lily head someone behind her whisper.

It wasn't uncommon for students in their class to make bets on their behavior and so far as the whispers continued behind her as the class continued people were placing most of their money on Kassidy. Lily didn't blame them. In their short friendship she'd learned Kassidy was not a force to be reckoned with no matter how often she lost, that's why Lily was so happy Kassidy had teamed up against Potter.

"Barlow you fat cow give me back my quill!" Sirius bellowed only a moment later.

"DETENT-"

Lily heard someone behind her groan as they handed over money.

"She took my quill!" Sirius interjected.

Kassidy held up her hands for him to see. "I don't have it," She told the professor truthfully. She had disapperated it only seconds ago.

"Mister Black 5 points from Gryffindor!" Professor Tinsley called out furious.

Some of the Slytherin's cheered.

"5 points from Slytherin as well,"

Now some of the Gryffindor's cheered.

Lily turned and looked at Remus who had an amused look on his face at the ongoing chaos. She didn't know what he was thinking but she knew that beneath all his seriousness he was a Marauderer, and that part of him enjoyed the mayhem the two brought to their group. James and Peter also looked around with appreciation for what Barlow and Black could do.

"Alright, class is over for the afternoon," Professor Tinsley yelled above them giving up. Everyone was out of their seats and in the hall in one minute flat.

"Um Professor?" Lily asked gathering her things and coming up to her professor as Sirius, Potter and Kassidy's argument drifted in from the hallway.

"Yes Miss Evans?" Professor Tinsley asked sinking into her desk chair.

"Perhaps you could save yourself some trouble and just separate them," Lily suggested.

"I have thought of that Miss Evans thank you very much," she said this with heavy sarcasm. "But the headmaster believes making them put up with each other will help all of them,"

"But it's been months and they're just getting worse," Lily told her.

"I know," The woman groaned.

Lily cast her a sympathetic glance before she turned and walked out of the classroom. The sight in the hall was not by any means welcoming. Remus was holding Kassidy back while James and Sirius were struggling to get their wands out.

"Kassidy that wasn't nice!" Remus said wrapping her arms behind her back.

"Barlow you're a sorry bitch!" James roared.

"I'm not sorry!" She spat out.

"You will be!" James said pointing his wand at her.

"10 points from Gryffindor!" Lily said coming up to them. "Put your wand away Potter,"

"Do you know what she even said?"

"No, and I don't care,"

"Mudblood!" Kassidy said again wrenching herself free. Lily was taken back by the outburst.

"What?" She asked her stomach lurching, Kassidy wouldn't, would she? Kassidy knew about how she ended her friendship with Severus.

"I called myself a mudblood, got a problem with that?" Kassidy asked giving James a look.

"Oh, uh, no?" Lily said uncertainly. She didn't believe Kassidy understood how insulting it was.

"Alright then, problem solved, boys you can put your wands away," Kassidy said picking up her books and heading to the Great Hall.

"Why did you say that?" Lily asked following her.

"What? Mudblood?"

"SH!" Lily said shocked.

"Oh well, Potter and Black asked me why I was so irritating and I told them it was because I was a mudblood and then they got all crazy and 'I'm gonna kick your arse' and that's when you came in,"

"Oh," Lily said. "You know that's insulting right?"

"Only if you make it one, hey look, I'm a honky, see? That's not really any worse."

"Well, I suppose not but you know how I feel about the word,"

"Yes," Kassidy sighed. "And I told you he's _really_ sorry about it, its just easy when your in Slytherin to pick up bad habits,"

"You can have friends from other houses," Lily told her.

"Oh please, who wants to be friends with future Death Eaters?" Kassidy asked rolling her eyes.

Lily shrugged. "I suppose,"

"Though seriously Lily, you should really at least talk to Severus, he's changed,"

"No," Lily told her defiantly letting her know that was the end of that discussion.

Kassidy rolled her eyes. "You're such a stubborn bitch Lily,"

"Well, coming from you I take that as a compliment," Lily told her with a glare.

"Fine, no more Severus talk then, but I do know who we can talk about," Kassidy said suddenly a grin forming on her lips.

"Who?" She asked looking in the direction before stopping dead in her tracks.

"Your gorgeous shirtless boyfriend,"


	20. Party at the Potters

Chapter 20: Booze helps a bleeding heart

**TO YOU!!! Thanks for continuing to read this and review!!!! I really need my trusty readers to supply me with some ammo! Again, THANKS!**

Lily stood awkwardly in the corner of the Potters living room. Kassidy had gone off to her something. A Christmas with Potter and his gang was not her idea of a good time, but Kassidy and Remus had forced her to come. Literally.

"Booze helps heal a bleeding heart," Kassidy said coming up with two filled goblets of something.

"What is this?" Lily asked sniffing it, whatever it was it was potent.

"A little concoction I made courtesy of the Potters bountiful liquor cabinet and whatever juice was in the fridge," Kassidy said taking a sip. "Mmm, fruity,"

Lily stared at it sadly for a moment. "Does it really help?"

Kassidy gave her a sympathetic frown. Archie was a fucker for dumping her before the holidays. Lily hadn't told her until they were safely out of the train station, a gracious bit of mercy on Lily's part because Kassidy would have to wait till after New Years to beat him up.

'Bottoms up,' Lily thought with a grimace as she and Kassidy drank. Soon they were on their seconds as they became more and more bored watching the adults talk to one another and Remus, Sirius, Peter and James standing around and make jokes.

"Evans, Barlow you two really should mingle," Sirius said coming up to them.

"Bite me Remus," Kassidy told him with a glare.

"Ditto," Lily assured.

"Well, that could be kinky," Sirius said with a grin. "Might livin up the party if you know what I mean,"

Both just glared at him.

"So, Evans, where's your fellow eh? Couldn't make it?" James asked coming over to them. He was glad she didn't bring Archie.

Lily just tipped back her goblet and downed it.

"Whoa," James said staring at her unusual behavior.

"Holy shit Lily, pace yourself," Kassidy said taking the goblet away as Lily's face contorted at the liquid.

"That's exactly how you looked mate," Sirius told James in a whisper.

James hoped he didn't look as bad as she did. "Uh, Lily do you want to go lie down?"

"No," Lily spat at him angrily.

"Ooo, shit," Kassidy said nervously as the adults began to look at them curiously. She did not want to be asked where she got the alcohol from. "Calm down Lily,"

"Can I have another one?" Lily asked pointing to the goblet.

"Sure, uh, Remus will you go get her another drink?"

"I will not condone in your reckless behavior," Remus told her with a frown. What kind of a friend was she anyway? Kassidy was supplying Lily with all the ingredients to make a complete ass out of herself.

Kassidy rolled her eyes. "Fine, here, have mine, but sip it this time," she told Lily sternly as she handed it over. "Or you'll wind up like Potter last summer,"

"I doubt she can get that drunk," Sirius said with a grin.

"Shut up Padfoot!"

"Okay, after you two lovers are done quarrelling, can we take this party somewhere else?" Kassidy asked.

"We're not gay!" James shouted at her.

Sirius feigned a hurt expression.

"Neither of you are helping!" Kassidy hissed as Lily looked like she was going to cry.

"What the bloody hell is going on?" James asked.

Kassidy didn't say a word and led them out into the hall and into another part of the house. It wasn't her business to say, Lily could if she wanted to.

"Evans, are you alright?" Sirius asked curiously as Lily sank down on the couch in tears.

"I'm so-sorry," Lily sobbed trying to wipe away her tears. "I'm so stupid,"

"Awe Lily," Kassidy said sitting down next to her. "No your not,"

Lily gave a dry laugh. "Yes-I am, I'm stupid and ugly, and I'm fat," Lily looked at the drink in her hand and cried harder. "and drunk!"

James, Sirius and Peter all exchanged weary looks.

"Uhh," Peter said wondering what she was going on about.

"Archie broke up with me," Lily said trying to compose herself, but it was useless.

"Why?" James asked suddenly.

"Because I'm faaat," Lily sobbed harder burying her face in her lap.

"What the fuck Evans? Are you nuts?! You're gorgeous!" James almost yelled.

Lily looked up at him through her hair. "Really?" she hiccupped.

"YES!" All four boys told her together.

Lily looked a little happier.

"God, who in their right mind would dump you?" James asked astonished.

"Okay Potter, you got your point across," Kassidy told him with a look.

"Obviously not if she's still crying," James told her glaring right back at her.

"A girl just sometimes needs to cry Potter, you should know!"

"Kassidy!" Remus admosihed. "Now is not the time for you two to be bickering,"

Both reluctantly agreed.

"I'm hungry," Lily said suddenly.

"I'll go get you some food," Kassidy and Sirius said at the same time getting up both glanced at each other before walking out.

"I'll go get you some water," Peter said walking out after them.

Remus stood only for a moment before deciding that it was the right moment for James and Lily to be alone. "I'm going to let your parents know we're all right,"

James only nodded a response. He had been waiting to be alone with Lily for almost two years.

"Lily, you're going to be alright," James said sitting down on the couch next to her.

"What's wrong with meee?" She whimpered before crying again.

"There's nothing wrong with you," James said soothing sliding closer to her.

"Than why doesn't he want me?"

James thought for a second before putting her arm around her. "Because he knows you're too good for him,"

"Why are you saying this?" Lily hiccupped. They sat on the couch staring at one another for several minutes.

"Because it's true," James told her brushing back a piece of her red hair behind her ear. She stared at him almost longingly and he leaned in towards her.

That seemed to snap Lily out of whatever trance she was in and she threw her drink in his face. "You don't know me!"

James blinked rapidly trying to get the stinging liquid out of his eyes.

"Why would you say that if you don't even know me!" She continued getting up and stumbling over to the doorway. Once she reached the wall she straightened herself up. "All you want is to get in my pants,"

James shook his head and got up to help her to the bathroom, she looked like she was going to puke.

"NO!" She shrieked covering her head with her hands and sinking to the floor.

James sighed and bent down to help her off the floor.

"What the hell is going on James?" Remus asked coming in and seeing Lily slapping him while he tried to get a grip on her hands.

"He's trying to seduce me!" Lily cried out giving James a hard slap to his face.

"I am not," James told Remus panicking. He had no idea what to do.

"Why don't you go find Kassidy and Sirius? They've seemed to disappear." Remus told his friend sympathetically. "I'll take care of Lily,"

James nodded and went out, the stinging on his cheek not subsiding. He had a pretty good idea where Sirius and Kassidy were, in his parent's liquor cabinet.

"No Dumbass I told you, put the tequila in the glass not down it like water," Kassidy told Sirius as she scoured the kitchen for something snacky to eat.

Sirius ignored her and took another swig from the bottle. "This stuff is pretty good,"

"Wait until you try the vodka," Kassidy told him with a sly grin. "It's the good shit,"

Sirius didn't hear her as she crawled on the counter exposing her bare legs.

"What are Chrispo's?" Kassidy asked picking out the box and looking at it, it looked almost like a Trisqet. "Hey are these good?"

"WHAT THE BLOODY HELL ARE YOU DOING SIRIUS?!" James cried out upon entering the kitchen to see Sirius right behind Kassidy his hands not two inches from her ass.

Kassidy, not expecting the sudden outburst lost her balance and fell backwards onto Sirius who grabbed at her to keep her from hitting the floor, they both disappeared behind the counter.

"My Chrispo's!" James said with a frown as the box exploded all over the floor sending the crackers everywhere.

"Its all good! Its okay! I saved the vodka!" Kassidy cried out holding up the bottle as she and Sirius struggled to get up.

"Hooray! You've saved the day," Sirius told her as they gave each other high fives. "Drinks all around!"

James stared incredulously at the two of them as they poured out shots. "Don't you two hate each other?"

Both nodded before clinking glasses.

"Here's to the Christmas Peace, if the Germans and Brits can do it, we can to. But may we draw blood after New Years," Sirius said.

"I'll drink to that!" Kassidy said as they gulped down their peace treaty.

"I'm going to grin and bear it, minus the grin," James muttered gritting his teeth as he went off in search of Peter.


	21. Nothing Says Romance Like a Dead Puppy

Chapter 21

Lily stared across the table at Kassidy who was avoiding her gaze by staring intently at her homework.

"Hey Lily, Kassidy," Remus greeted coming up to them and setting his books down at the table before taking a seat. "What's going on?" He asked Lily as Kassidy didn't reply.

"Kassidy, your still not mad about that are you?" Lily asked.

"About what?" Kassidy asked trying to feign ignorance.

"You know," Lily insisted leaning towards her. "The kiss,"

Kassidy's face flushed and she took out her quill and began to write furiously on her parchment.

"You've got to be joking," Sirius said sitting next to Kassidy.

"Shuddup," Kassidy warned lifting her quill menacingly.

"She is," Lily told Remus with a sigh.

Remus frowned as he opened his transfigurations book. "You can't be twirked off forever about that,"

"Oh, because my best friend and my boyfriend decide to get all cozy and make out on the couch,"

"Is that what happened?" Sirius asked surprised. "Ooo, uptight prefect Moony gets it on with the best friend,"

Lily rolled her eyes.

"After you and I had our Christmas toast I walk into the room with some chips to find these two all cozy and lovy on the couch making out," Kassidy explained to Sirius ignoring his comment.

"We were plastered," Remus defended.

"And that makes it okay?" Kassidy asked disgusted.

"No but-

"I was straight drunk off my ass and I still didn't do anything… and Black even offered!"

"I did," Sirius admitted unashamed. "We were under the mistletoe and I was randy,"

"Ew, something to keep to yourself," Lily said giving him a look.

"I've been really lonely since Annie and I broke it off,"

"Well you did get caught with Greta Hangle,"

"It was dark; I didn't know what I was doing,"

Everyone looked at him with disbelief.

"Okay, she was coming onto me and I can't resist blondes,"

Remus and Lily both looked at Kassidy expectantly.

"I had nothing to do with that," Kassidy announced. "Black is just a pervert,"

"It's a curse to be so gorgeious," Sirius said shaking his head.

"So I was drunk too and I didn't do anything! While my slutty best friend and my supposedly loyal and sensitive boyfriend go at it on the couch, on CHRISTMAS!" Kassidy said glaring at the two across the table.

"Hey, it was two days before Christmas," Lily told her haughtily.

Sirius snorted.

"Don't you need to be screwing somebody?" Kassidy asked.

Sirius paused in mock thought. "Why, I can't remember,"

"Why does Sirius look like he's about to pass a kidney stone?" James asked coming up to them.

"I was wondering when you'd show up," Kassidy said going back to her homework.

"Why?" He asked suspiciously.

"Because as it happened, wherever one of you go, the other one follows, its weird, I cant figure out which one of you is the girl in the relationship," She told him flipping the page of her book.

"We're not poofs!" They both told her.

Remus and Lily laughed.

"It's pointless to argue, it's already ingrained in her mind and there it will stay,"

"But it's not true," Sirius argued.

"Shh!" Kassidy commanded trying to focus on her readings.

"Its not!" James insisted.

"Tut tut tut," Lily told him picking up her quill.

Kassidy glared at them, picked up her belongings and moved to another table.

"So, Remus, are you out of the doghouse yet?" Sirius asked as Peter joined them.

"Mind your own business," Remus growled.

"Valentines Day's coming up soon," James reminded. "about two weeks, if you want to get on her good graces again, you can do whatever romantic thingy she likes, maybe go kill a puppy or something,"

"I don't kill puppies!" Kassidy said angrily chucking her book at the back of his head.

"Thanks for the book Barlow," James said rubbing the back of his head. "I'll be sure to keep this one,"

"You should because it's yours," She snorted.

James frowned and opened the front cover to see his name scrawled on the inside.

"She's a thief," He said astonished at how she nicked it.

"You know," Remus mused aloud. "I think I will do something for Valentines Day,"

"Why? She's a stubborn bitch Remus, she won't ever forgive you," Lily said getting up.

"Backstabber!" Kassidy hissed as she walked by.

"Prat!"

"Whore!"

Lily gave Kassidy the finger as she walked out.

"Give it up Moony," James warned his friend as Remus looked after them. "If you get those two back together again, I will never forgive you,"

Sirius grinned. "Good old Moony," he said clapping his friends shoulder. "Look, I admire your drive to make everything right and good in the world but trust me, its better this way,"

"Is it?" Remus asked recalling the hurt looks on both Lily and Kassidy's faces.

"Sure it is! The more they fight the less we see of her!" James argued. "Barlow I mean,"

Remus shook his head. But as he sat there staring at the back of Kassidy's head he thought about how he could get her back.


End file.
